Reply #94: "Gilgligi" Gets Rave Review [View All]

Hollywood Reports - Pomona - August 2, 2003

Byline - Relpa McFuine

"Ggilygyl" (pronounced "pbdmtwf") garnered rave reviews today from
Hollywood insiders and real-life amouras Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

"I think Jennifer is a tremendous actress," Affleck said of Lopez. "I don't think people give her enough credit."

Meanwhile, Lopez said that her honey has the chops, too. "I think Ben is amazing onscreen. He's amazing--period."

"I loved us in 'Lgllgyy'," Affleck added. "I couldn't keep my
eyes off of us. I was there when we were making the movie, but
I was so scared and excited wondering what was going to happen next that
I forgot I already knew. I forgot we was the guys in the movie, that's
how good we was."

"I agree one hundred and ten percent," said Lopez. "Go
see it. It's like so fun. If you don't like it,
Ben will send you your money back."

"Gosh darn it!" Affleck said, laughing, "Jen is a cut-up!"

"I don't know," said Lopez, "but we really cut the rug in 'Gggggyl'!
Hey, do the duck, Ben. Ben does the Affleck duck."

"Yeah, sure, huh huh," said Affleck. "No, I do not. That's
not funny. Well, anyway, please, for God's sakes, somebody
go see this frigging movie."

"It's a dilly," said Lopez.

"It's a pickle and a tuna sandwich," Affleck chimed in.

"We love each other like a couple of drunk nuns," said
Lopez, "and there's no reason everybody else shouldn't
either. I play a lesbian hit-man and Ben plays my mother."

"We set off in a schooner on top of bicycle wheels to see what
became of America," explained Affleck.

"But it's exciting, too," said Lopez, "with brains
splattered around, sweaty yoga stretch pants poses, etc."

"If you don't go see it," Affleck said, "I'll come to
your horse and personally--"

"Come to their horse?" asked Lopez.

"Huh?"

"You said 'come to their horse.'"

"No, I didn't, did I? Well, maybe I was thinking of your
big cabooze that makes me feel like a horse in clover!"

"You big bunk hunk! You big bunkhouse!"

"Oh ha ha ha!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

The two delightful lovers and co-stars of "Llllllllgliy"
excused themselves and went into the broom closet where
they closed the door and began to croon "Cement Mixer,
Putty Putty" to drown out the sounds of their own sexual
intercourse.

It was a day this reporter will never forget, not only
because I saw "Iiiiiiiiiiglyg" myself for free by being
a movie reporter, but because I got to know a
little of the magical mystery tour which is the life and
times of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, two people who
in real-life are every bit as interesting as they are on
the big screen. I look forward to living the rest of my
life with them, for I have filed papers for them to
adopt me. I forged their signatures and will hire
look-alikes to go to court to approve it. Then I will
serve them with the adoption papers and move in with
them. Just thinking about it I start to make little
baby noises like "Glouglalalylglug."