I feel like a loser when I don't overcome. [View All]

Once again I'm confronted with dating paralysis. Once again I flounder, even as I know exactly what I want.

I am a boy who can't figure out how to respond to emails in a timely fashion or make the jump from being the awesome guy online to actually asking this woman out on a date after 2 months of emailing. She pursued me...a lot, gave me time to get my act together; even as I shrank away out of fear. That is...awesome. It really is. She's perfect for me in every way. (This is actually a problem.) I can't even seem interested or make an effort. So now it seems that she's moved on since she hasn't responded in over a week.

Knowing it's just my baggage doesn't make it better: being dumped because you want to settle-down and your free-spirit girlfriend feels restrained; she goes on to be engaged to someone else within 6 months...it's made me shy, even after 2+ years. No effort or care means no heartbreaks, no betrayals. But bed-jumping in lieu of intimacy is tiresome. It's not that I've not moved on from that old relationship...I'd rather be safe, alone and invulnerable, I guess. I am an island. Yay me. :(

I wanted to vent. Not seeking advice, there is no point once the proverbial horse is out of the barn. Really don't want vibes (or hugs) either as they just make me feel mentally-impotent; incapable of overcoming my psyche's urge to sabotage...please feel free to tell me precisely why and how I'm an idiot. It's actually helpful. Truly. I need the kicks in the ass to stay getting-back-on-the-horse.