Reply #34: An atheist replies [View All]

> 1. Who is cuter - the tubby Buddha or the surfer Jesus?

Let me see.... Jesus Christ = Willem Defoe, Buddha = Keanu Reeves. You make the call!

> 2. If Christ had a pet, would it be a cat, dog or other animal?

I'd get Jesus a whole pack of pit bulls so he could sic 'em on those who wanted to crucify him! I can just hear Jesus now: "Boys...sic Roman balls!"

> 3. Do you think stain glass windows would look as good in your home
> as they do in a Catholic church?

If I installed stained-glass windows, I think it would upset the superintendent of my apartment building!

> 4. Did you ever want to convert to Judaism just so you don't have
> to shave in the morning?

No, but I do enjoy using certain Hebrew words--most of them synonoms for "penis."

> 5. What do you think God's last name is?

Cadiddlehopper.

> 6. Why do you suppose vampires aren't supposed to like crosses?

Because they're creatures of Satan, perhas? Just a wild guess....

> 7. Cooler car - the Pope-mobile or the Bat-mobile?

Does the Popemobile have an oil slick? I think not! So take it from there.

> 8. Have you ever invited a Jehovah's Witness into your home?

Fuck no! I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid.

> 9. Would you consider Mormonism to be a mainstream religion, or
> just a really large cult?

Mormonism? Isn't that a synonym for "Osmond?"

> 10. Who does God want to win the Stanley Cup this year?

Who the hell is Stanley Cup? And why would anybody want to win him?