Reply #38: I'm irreligious so I'll play along! [View All]

1. Who is cuter - the tubby Buddha or the surfer Jesus?

The tubby Buddha. Oriental guys are great, and surfer Jesus isn't nerdy enough to be really hot!

2. If Christ had a pet, would it be a cat, dog or other animal?

It would be a cat. Christ got one of Mohammed's kittens.

3. Do you think stain glass windows would look as good in your home as they do in a Catholic church?

I think they'd look better, only they'd have to be about different subject matter.

4. Did you ever want to convert to Judaism just so you don't have to shave in the morning?

I don't shave *anything* in the morning, evening, or any other time. I also keep telling people I'm not converting to Judaism anyway, because they ask me *a lot*. (Even though I'm not a guy, I could grow a pretty kickass set of peot {peyes} if I wanted to, just to pis people off. The hair in front of my ears grows in natural ringlets if I let it get long!)

5. What do you think God's last name is?

I don't know, but it starts with R. (How's that for an obscure joke?)

6. Why do you suppose vampires aren't supposed to like crosses?

I don't know. In the best vampire joke *ever*, the vampire's only line is in Yiddish. :)

7. Cooler car - the Pope-mobile or the Bat-mobile?

The Batmobile, tires down.

8. Have you ever invited a Jehovah's Witness into your home?

Um, I've invited a JW's son into my home, but he wasn't a JW. I suspect you're talking about missionaries, huh? No, I just usually threaten to call the police if they don't get the hell off my porch, and they leave me alone.

9. Would you consider Mormonism to be a mainstream religion, or just a really large cult?

Just a really large cult. Any religion that *demands* money from you as a condition of membership, as I hear from good sources that LDS does, is de facto a cult.

10. Who does God want to win the Stanley Cup this year?

The Toronto Maple Leafs, or failing that, the Edmonton Oilers, but since god doesn't exist, I doubt it...