Reply #33: Grrr [View All]

Some people can't afford nothing but ramen and pasta etc.Some people ain't got time to cook all day for those 5 or six small meals.

When I was poor,All I could afford was ramen pasta and crap basically.
I got a few bags of veggies things were a bit better when I could hit the farmers markets.BUT what you don't understand arrogant one is food stamps are supposed to last a WHOLE MONTH. and most folks get a whopping TEN bucks.
And also welfare/disability checks are not alot of money unlike what republicans claim,and often you have to pay rent also which takes most of it,and if you get stuck in the futile game of trying to find a job to "better your life " and 'be a productive member of this social Darwinist lie" well,you get to scrape by on even less money and you now have no time whatsoever.Busses are designed to transport the rich to 'cultural events'.So if you live in a crappy neighborhood you must transfer which can make a trip across town that takes 20 minutes by car take 2 hours..Cab fare who are you kiddin'?

I have PT SD.I decided because I felt bad being a "nobody" on the govt.dole to try to I claw myself off of disability to get a "better life".Unfortunately this attempt occurred during the Tech bubble.I took the damn classes.I started getting jobs ,I had bought a house ,not a huge place it was a small older house you know modest.


To be honest it was just miserable being a "success" worrying about bills that seemed to race up to match my income,so my standard of living changed but because of the costs of"success" I did not feel any more secure than I did before.In fact I felt a little more secure on the dole.I had nothing,but at least I knew I could buy pasta and exist..But stressing over the boss's demands for every minute of my waking life worrying me about his damn networks. To me his "business was like a huge virtual baby that needed tending at all hours and I was the nanny,who got paid shit while my job finder gouged the boss..making me "expendable".Making ends meet alone in a town where I knew no one,had no family was very hard..I had ,moved there chasing work,And of course when the tech bubble busted all that lonely "success" came crashing down on me.I found my stress relief in food.I didn't have time to make friends.Besides I had no time to cook and I was too tired to anyway. Soon it dawned on me I couldn't get work again if I wanted to and fat chance I could just move to India where the jobs are. I still had to pay a 15,000 taxes because the employer exploiting me was to lazy and didn't want to bother to take out taxes,from the paychecks(and 700 bucks unemployment didn't cover the mortgage.So I sold the house...that is where the money selling the house went to pay to pay fucking bush so he can kill people and steal their oil and try to turn this country into a theocracy.I would rather fund a social safety net for everyone.But no I have no say in what these robber barons do with my money.I'm back to having nothing.Plus now I have no more insurance.The stress of all this "success" crap almost killed me .I now live in my mom's basement.
I have insomnia and nightmares depression... the works. And I am very unhappy and I am very very jaded. Fuck the whore bitch everyone worships as if it'll save their ass from rich exploiting jerks ...called "success". If Horatio Alger was real and not a myth I'd be out to get him.



I am fat, fat because of a lifetime of stress in this environment of normalized cultural insanity,the stupidity of authoritarians,bullies,past abuse,cultural oppression,and because of poverty and all the emotional misery this causes and attempts however misguided or addictive to find comfort and relief from it..I seek to be in a place very different than this where people who care about me do more than move their mouths,A society where I can care about others,where people live and let live and life is cherished, and we can support each other without feeling we are going to be shafted for caring.Something more communal and honest than this piece of shit free market joke..

Have you ever wanted to kill yourself because "success" was driving you crazy? Ever have the injustice of it all bite your heart because people are so damn stupid selfish and or deluded in this INSANE fucking' culture? Ever get sick of the lies of haves who think they are so superior to have nots,thinnies who think think they are so morally superior compared to fatties? But still humanity can't figure out what real wealth and security is and that it belongs to all people.Security comes in the form of a well funded social safety net to take care of everyone equally in vulnerable times and not so vulnerable times.When basics are taken care of and the bullies,greedos ,bigots and authoritarians of any stripe are told where to stick it,and denied power,we all can bloom in a billion different ways if we decided to and started sharing and building lasting security through supporting each other..

We all could love life. How much better quality would every life be if we'd be honest enough as a culture to admit we all need food,shelter warmth etc? What if we decided to QUIT letting a few profiting off necessities of existence all need and instead shared it with all? So why let a landlord oppress you financially for the fact you need a place to exist? This is sick! This culture is NUTS!This cultural accepted inequality of access to the necessities of life creates insecurity competition strife and wars.
Success is only success because it requires someone else to be deprived.


So don't tell me platitudes about my 'weak' willpower.Will is NOT all it takes to lose weight or succeed.Don't give me crap about "self esteem." I have been through enough abuse,stress and bullshit outta the likes of arrogant greedy self important fools talking outta their ass that would drive some people to kill themselves if they had to live through it.
I have self esteem so I don't suffer fools or bullies.

Frankly I am lucky to survive through this human created bullshit and muddle through what this damn crazy culture tells people to do with their lives with only this obesity to worry about.

What I worry about is what happens when the American dream dies for the true believers. Believe me the greedy want it all. The poor will be consumed first.and the middle class one step away from poverty will cling to the notion of class as if that will save them from failure quite beyond their control,unless they join a union or something nothing will stop the rich..