Reply #24: you're begging for the punch line, right? [View All]

;)

http://www.jokesmagazine.com/managearticle.asp?c=670&a=7

In Alaska's National Forests, a tourists guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: "Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting suprise can be catastrophic." To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. "Also," he said further, "be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings."

One tourist asked, "How do you identify bear droppings?"

"Oh that's easy," the guide explained, "its the ones with all the tiny bells in them!"

Hey, it's Tuesday! But damn, I can't find the version of that joke that I knew from before, which did have a gun in it somewhere ...

Ah, but here's the alternative punch line:

http://www.evh.k12.nf.ca/epower/Joke%20Book/Done/Hunting%20Joke1.doc

Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.

... and yet another:

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions, and keep alert of bears while in the field.
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of a encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat:
Black bear scat is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur.
Grizzly bear scat is larger, has little bells in it, and smells like pepper.

Also valid for the Alaska Dept of Fish and Game, apparently.