Reply #15: Only if I can order an Ottertini [View All]

...although yr hmbl otr brtndr's personal recipe for a seriously special bartooni probably can't quite match the puissant prowess of the confounding father's legendary BBRBM recipe when it comes to libations of mass destruction, I think you'll agree that the current house specialty ain't nothing to sneeze at nonetheless. This is not your father's drinkmobile.

And so, then, without further achoo!... please observe attentively as the multi-talented aquat behind the bar proceeds to construct a full round for all y'all of his favorite specialty cocktail, and as he then proceeds to deliver your drinks to your tables with particular emphasis on earning points for presentation.

Note that the default ethanolic fluid for this Ottertini is Bombay Sapphire gin, and that the default garnish for same is a small skewer upon which are pinioned one small pearl onion and one large green olive. However, deferring to a fine vodka in place of a fine gin is perfectly acceptable. It's all a matter of personal taste.

Substitutions for these defaults can be made upon request, of course, but do understand that anything of a lower grade than a Sapphire or a Stoli will be sniffed over and sneezed at by an otter after all. You Have Been Warned.

Ian Fleming be damned; these special Ottertinis are neither shaken nor stirred. There's no need for such indignities to the ingredients since the Sapphire, the Stoli, and/or your substitute libation of choice are always kept coddled in the Kold-King freezer behind the bar, so that at first sip they are always both perfectly chilled and a wee bit viscous from the cold.

And at second sip they are still both perfectly chilled and a wee bit viscous. And at third, and at fourth, and so on and so forth and scooby-dooby-dooby. How can that be, you may be asking; how can such an ideal temperature be maintained from the first sip straight through to the last? Ah, grasshoppers -- that is where the points for presentation come in.

Notice what has been provided at haute-loutre tuxedo-point and is now sitting on the tables in front of you: on the right hand, a perfectly-polished pre-chilled crystal martini glass of classic shape and size, carefully centered on a four-square linen bar napkin, with precisely three-fourths of an inch of graciously-junipered gin (or absolutely-awesome Absolut, as may be) waiting wetly for you in its pointed little bottom.

Then notice what is on the left hand, likewise carefully centered on a four-square linen bar napkin and elegantly lined up perfectly square with its mate: a crystal brandy snifter filled with finely cracked ice, the silver skewer of garnish laid across one edge, and embedded in the cracked ice is a 300-ml crystal cruet in which is nestled the remainder of your generously-sized super-chilled cocktail.

So each sip you take from the martini glass can then be replaced with a similar sip, still perfectly chilled and close to hand, at whatever slow or speedy pace your thirst and your philosophy might decree. Your empinioned onion and olive can be martini-marinated or not as you prefer, or ignored entirely should that be your wont.

And then, once your personal ritual for savoring each sip of your seriously special Ottertini has been properly consummated, you are welcome to order another one just like it should you so desire.

And that, my friends, is how it's done in here these days. Any questions?