Reply #9: I voted absentee for the first time ever [View All]

because it was allowed in Wisconsin this time. Normally you have to have a reason. They changed the rules this time so you didn't have to have a reason, you could just do it.

I handed them my ballot after staring at it for a moment, afraid because I was uncaffinated at that moment that I'd done it wrong. Talking to the folks behind the counter, they said that even though it was a good 10 days before the election, they'd already mailed out as many absentee ballots as they had in the entire 2000 election.

But I'm in a Red county, so those all could have been freeper votes.

I was so excited November 1st and 2nd. I'd taken off the Friday before and that Monday and Tuesday for GOTV. I'd worked off and on during the summer and into the fall, even taking off my birthday to work at HQ.

I kept praying that God help us change the country and save us from what was happening. I'd cry once in a while thinking that prayer wouldn't be answered. But after the first debate, I started to have hope. As Kerry built up the big Mo', I felt so good about Nov. 2.

I was so happy that I'd taken off Nov. 1, because even though I live in a battleground state, I'd never had a chance to get to any of the rallies with JK or JE, only one with Max Cleland and Jim Wasser. When I found out JK was going to be in town, and I had off, I was beside myself with excitement. I was so sure I was going to get a chance to see our next president.

As it was, after 2 hours in the cold rain, during which my feet fell asleep and my shins cramped up and I got soaked to the skin, I got to see Kerry and even got to almost shake his hand. I met an annoying woman with an illegal umbrella she'd poke people in the eye with accidentally, who wasn't nearly so annoying when I found out she had a son in Iraq and had wedged herself in front of the line to ask Kerry to help her and her son. When I turned around, she was crying because he said, "I will."

My therapist, it turns out, was also at the rally, and said she was impressed at how Kerry tried to listen to each person as he shook their hands. I had poked my hand out over someone's shoulder, and gotten a half handshake. I was impressed by the big smile on Kerry's face, and the way he hugged his girls. Vanessa had ahold of Alex, almost as if she were protecting her.

I went to HQ after that, but refused to go back outside to phone bank at a different location. I'd only just gotten warm, dagnabit!

I worked Nov. 2, annoying the shit out of our phonelist, making sure folks had voted, and seeing if anyone needed help. I ended up in a group taking snacks to some of the lines of people, making sure no one left the line because they were hungry. When we got back to HQ again at the end of it all, several of us watched a tv with bad reception then headed down to a convention center where a gathering of volunteers was in full swing.

I remember I kept telling folks "Landslide!" and getting big ass smiles in return.

Then came the night from pergatory, followed by the morning from hell. I cried like somebody died. I continued to have crying jags as if somebody died for weeks after, the way you are when you think you're fine, and then suddenly you're not fine.

I prefer to think that I, and Karen Hughes were correct. Landslide.

I don't hate Kerry, I'm not even angry at him. Not at all. I see him as one of the victims of this mess. I just feel cheated. Robbed. I don't think I will ever look at Bush or Laura and think they are the President and First Lady. That was brought home again to me when I saw Pickle's face on Parade yesterday. "You don't belong there," I wanted to scream.

I can't get over the feeling that what's happening isn't supposed to be happening. And as consolation perhaps, I still want what was stolen from me. I want Kerry as president. I still think he'd make a good one. If only his skills as a campaigner matched his qualifications for the job.

There I go again. When will this feeling go away :cry: It STILL feels like somebody died.

Only one up side: at least if it was truly a landslide, I feel better about America. We're not as dumb as we look.