Reply #19: For what it's worth, I felt similarly from the other side [View All]

I mean, I'd always felt like I *should* have breasts and female genitalia -- and in my mind's eye, that was the 'correct' body for me. Which of course meant that those dangly bits just did not belong there.

Or so it felt.

You did touch on one thing, Jamastiene, that I did want to comment upon, that sense of 'revulsion' or heterophobia? Well, when I was in the old configuration, I felt mild distaste whenever I was intimate with a woman (and part of the problem there is I wanted to BE her). I was also very small and youthful in my appearance, even to my early 30s -- and there are quite a few gay men who find that quite attractive.

I am by no means homophobic. In fact, during my first marriage, two of my brothers-in-law were gay, and I loved 'em both like they were brothers of my own.

But when I'd go to a bar and a gay man would try to pick me up... yes, the feeling was one of revulsion. As in, "at least with a woman, ONE of us has the right parts... To be with a gay man would double the thing I don't want."

However, that all changed after the corrective surgery. Obviously, I was no longer of any interest to gay males, but I was just fine with the straight and bi ones -- and I did quite a bit of dating.

Regarding your specific situation, Jamastiene, I recommend you take a look at threads posted by Mermaid, here on DU. She has pointers to some really great resources for the transgendered.

Most of all though, even though things may be difficult where you are geographically, do know that you are NOT alone.

-Stealther