Democratic Underground - British army vs. God. God loses.

The Jewish God is a bit stern but can be won over with a nice cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel. Won't let Jews celebrate Christmas for some reason. According to the ultra-orthodox followers, he's not big on negotiating. Or on land transfers.

Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses are just mad. Only in America! Unfortunately, they're over here as well...

Talking to Godot: Most practitioners of the above religions engage in some form of communication with their chosen deity, commonly known as 'prayer'.

Prayer takes many forms, from loud verbal masturbation in public (see also: Mosques, daily Mass) to quiet internal contemplation (see: Om).

A few claim that their deity answers back (notably Jesus Jim, T. Blair and George W Bush).

Remember that's literally, like telling them to do stuff... like invade Iraq. Steer clear of these types and hope they don't get into power... ooops!

http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/God

From the hilarious website of the ARmy Rumour SErvice, AARSE for short (of course). Run by present and former members of the British army.

I just wasted most of the day on this site, laughing my head off. And learning some valuable new British slang:

Pad Brat: Gobby, violent, ill-mannered, undomesticated, chocolate covered, feral, offspring of a soldier that dwell on the patch and hunt in packs.

Generally bloody horrible, being either spoilt and pompous (officer's kid) or violent and called Dwayne (soldier's kid)...

Your less discerning Squaddie will try and get into the knickers of the teenaged, nubile female variant of these - usually finding out too late that they are the daughters of the RSM, SSM or Provo Sgt.

Even as a clueless Yank, I get the drift on that one. The American equivalents: "Provo Sgt."--Provost Marshal, the military person who can put you in jail. And "RSM," Regimental Sergeant-Major, who can make you wish you were safely in jail.

And finally, from their definition of Tony Blair: May it also be noted that from a certain angle Tony Blair does, in fact, look very much similar to a pair of hairy testicles. This is presumably because he has spent the majority of his time with his head up George (the Wanker) Bush, and has evolved so to suit his environment better.

British army vs. God. God loses. [View All]