The Great Soul Suck sets in... [View All]

A week ago tonight I was in Boston, MA. My motherland, if you will. I was hanging out with the most amazing, wonderful, awesome, intelligent, free-thinking, educated, inspiring, beautiful group of people I've ever known. We were all dressed up, having the time of our lives.

My hero, John Kerry was there.

There was a birthday party at a beautiful, grand, old hotel. The room was filled with excitement, enthusiasm, and possibility. I drank wine and laughed and cried tears of joy with all my wonderful new friends. I stood onstage with my hero. I looked into a sea of faces, all filled with happiness and hope. I heard thunderous applause.

We all went to a pub, and the Guinness flowed freely from the tap. We had amazing conversation, and for the first time in a very long time I felt like I was HOME. And I was.

But now I'm here. 3500 miles from home. In a dead-end, redder than red town. Looking forward to another rainy day. I'm stuck here for a while. I've made decisions that seemed like good ones at the time. Maybe they were...maybe they are, but they don't feel good right now. I hate it here. I have a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm going to BE here a while. Indefinitely. Years at least.

I can always visit, but it's not the same.

Everyone around me feels like they belong here, therefore they can't imagine how it feels to be where you don't belong. I'm wasting my life in this shit-hole, and after last week's poignant reminder of what I left behind, I hate it here now more than ever. I'm not getting any younger, that's for damn sure, but every minute I spend here is aging me a hundred years.

Get me out of here.