Reply #59: Yeah, it's a good idea. My boy is also a sweet kid. And he suffered [View All]

all through eighth grade because of the tormenting and taunting of a couple of other kids (and a couple MORE other kids who wanted to climb on the bandwagon), trying to pick fights with him. They called him gay, pussy, fag, and said he had no balls because he wouldn't fight. Fortunately, we had already deeply ingrained in him the idea that people who have to bully others usually are VERY messed up inside, they're NOT strong, they're NOT hip, they're NOT cool, and they're NOT ballsy. Which, I think, kept him from getting into a playground fight until the last couple of weeks of school (again, after an ENTIRE YEAR of this shit). As is, he was terribly ashamed and kept it all pent-up inside for months, and it took me an entire day to pull out of him what had gone on. That particular day he had been sent home from a traditional 8th grade festivity - Beach Day - because he had misplaced the "standards" (write 500 times "I shall not... blah-blah-blah") after the coach caught him and another boy fighting.

Background: this was the second fight. The first one, a couple of days earlier, he and the other boy stopped, but the taunting of the two of them continued - for two more days, until they just got frustrated and gave in, and the coach caught 'em and gave them standards. My kid lost his and lost out on Beach Day. And all the school knew was that he'd been caught in a fist-fight and so he was the bad guy. UNTIL I stepped in with all this background documentation about the ongoing taunting and provocation - mainly from one "tough-guy" kid who transferred in, mid-year, in 7th grade - a red flag, I'm told. This kid had personally tormented mine since last October. My kid told me a few days later that he and this kid had "worked it out," so I decided, along with the 8th grade teacher, not to pursue it and to accept my son's verdict. And I wrote it ALL up and gave a copy to the teacher just for her information and my son's protection. Evidently, though, they HADN'T worked it out, after all, and the other boy kept coming after my kid. It was the WORST academic year EVER for my son. TERRIBLE. His school work suffered as he tried to soldier on. We FINALLY got to the bottom of it, as I said, a couple of weeks before graduation! But I'll tell ya, when I went back to school that day after hand-delivering all those copies of my complaint that went everywhere INCLUDING the Archdiocese - MAN it got their attention in the school's front office!!! - they were not only all ears but falling all over themselves to understand it from my son's point of view and mine, and promised me with great earnestness to get to the bottom of it (which they indeed did). And it was EXTREMELY helpful to have issued that documentation beforehand, because the 8th grade teacher sat in at that meeting (with the principal and the vice principal) and was able to confirm everything I'd said about how this all began the previous October.

You should just be really aware of this for your boy's sake. Because it wasn't just the one bully kid. It was also one of the honor students AND the student body president (also an honor student) who participated in the taunting, and the previously-untouchable and "perfect" student body president wound up getting the scare of his life, maybe his first-ever trip to the principal's office, and the parents were contacted and a HUGE stink was made about it. At the graduation dinner there were parents coming up to me all the while we were there, wondering what had happened. It probably ruined several families' nice time, but that wouldn't have been necessary if THEY HAD POLICED THEIR OWN KIDS BETTER, SO THEY WOULD NOT BE BULLIES.

Yes. I ratted them out, by name, to the Archdiocese. I'd just HAD IT. And indeed, if I EVER hear that the bully-kid (who, THANK GOD, is headed to a different high school this fall than my kid's attending) is up to no good again, I will simply refer all interested parties to the principal of the elementary school from which he just came, AND the Archdiocese of Los Angeles (especially considering that particular entity does NOT need any further bad publicity!), both of whose offices have that material on file. As does my attorney.

The ONLY way to take down a bully is to hit back, AND HIT BACK HARD. Works just as well with intolerant, mean-spirited brothers-in-law AND unruly asshole republi-CON bullies, too.