Reply #30: I love the term 'related' [View All]

Mom was a smoker. Mom died. Report goes in and shows it as a smoking related death. Stats go up. But are they true?

Mom came home from hospital. No one would let her smoke, she could not relax in her own way. She went back into hospital and died. Would it have hurt her to smoke that last week? Nope. Would it have helped her to deal with the stress? Maybe - and maybe she would have lived a little longer. But the smoking nazi's in the family were sure it would make it worse.

She had her need, something to help her deal with the hell of her last days. And no one would give it to her so she could relax a little.

Smoking had nothing to do with her death. An infection then kidney failure did. And she gave up.

The last day I saw her in her kitchen, she was sending me out to the store to get some things for dad. She pretended to puff a smoke and winked at me, and said have one for me. She was at her home, and everyone was telling her what was best for her, how to live. She wanted to resume life as normal, have a smoke, watch some tv, have some decaff. But my sister and dad butted in telling her the best thing to do was lay around and do nothing.

The last time I saw her - well it still makes me cry. She was in her room at the hospital, delusionsal. I could not handle it. The last rational thing she said to my dad was "Mick, tell Todd to go home, he cannot handle this." And I was getting ready to leave she asked me to get the car and pick her up, go for a ride and have a smoke and take her home.

But no - they made her stay there. Over two months and not one smoke, and she died. All she wanted to do was relax and have a couple and get out of that hell hole. But my fundie sister and dad knew best, so she died in a damned hospital bed on a cold new years eve - denied her last desires because it was best for her.

A lot of fucking good it did her. Stressed, dying, and the one thing she wanted was her freedom - and it was denied her for her own good.