Reply #49: The Issue [View All]

was never if she had or didn't have a child of her own. She had to make that decision for herself. I made mine and I will deal with it. She doesn't feel that she should have to have a child. I dont have to make sure she doesnt. Thats fine with me. At her age she knows as a womens liberation activist where/how pregnancies occur. She also knows she doesn't have to put up with not being able to handle (in terms of her own financial responsibility) her own well being. For whatever reason. Although we came to a crossroads about this on some levels, it wasn't a level of one women being better or lower than another. We came to the table with a shared experience with two different opinions about the fallout afterwords. Does that mean that one opinion should be better or stronger? No...It means that I have a voice as does she. We can agree to disagree. But I certainly don't have to agree with her bitterness to feel that I have helped her. If she didn't want a child there several things to take into consideration. We dont need to ask for forgiveness from each other. Its beyond that.

a.) She has the right to birth control
b.) She has the legal right to an abortion. That doesn't mean she has the right to expect or demand that any/all agree or have no opinions about it that may conflict with hers or mine for that matter.
c.) She is a woman that can and has failed to take the most important step of liberation in my opinion. Self worth and the right to embrace who she is without having to be supported by others because its easy. And I am not talking about someone agreeing with you. Thats what womens rights are about. She is only a victim in this case (not all) because she has chosen to allow others to support her. Her grandfather has given her everything she has ever wanted without reason on a 8 bucks an hour salary. He is 70 years old. She is still living with him. She still makes her grocery lists out to him so he can buy her (and her boyfriend) what they need in life. She should of at the age of 27 been able to make a stand on some level without blaming others for the situation she/he was in. She is not fighting for choice..she is fighting to NOT MAKE CHOICES IN ANY SITUATION. Does that make sense? There are many avenues of education and prevention that are FREE and open to the public. The fact that she isn't independent is no more my fault than it is the neighbor down the street. The wisdom and the strength is there. She just needs to tap into it. And I am still trying to help her with that.