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Edited on Sun Jun-03-07 07:57 AM by Lobster Martini
First paragraph: “Under pressure from GOP conservatives, the chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee announced new rules Tuesday to overhaul the way lawmakers send taxpayer dollars to their districts and states.”
GOP conservatives oppose pork! They are saving your tax dollars!
Second paragraph: “The move by Appropriations Chairman Robert Byrd, D-W.Va., came as conservatives including Sens. Jim DeMint, R-S.C., and Tom Coburn, R-Okla., increased the pressure to change the much-criticized, often secretive way in which "earmarks" are inserted into appropriations legislation.”
Conservative Republicans want openness and accountability! Bully for them!
Paragraphs 3-11: “Blah, blah, blah…”
Paragraph 12: “Earmarks blossomed under GOP control of Congress, much to the dismay of conservative stalwarts.”
What? Please don’t tell me that fiscally responsible conservative Republicans only grew a spine when Democrats took control of the Oscar Mayer wieners! That would be so disheartening! Thank god it was buried in the 12th paragraph, giving me time to balance my chakra energies.
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