Reply #26: Right next to which will be a far less cheesy monument called... [View All]

Heroes of the New World Order

Which will feature, among other wonders, a little boutique selling a new line of shopping carts with built-in DSL, so that even the homeless can stay connected 24/7.

An exhibit explaining the role of life-saving drugs like Valium, Xanax and Prosac, and how they've helped millions cope with their daily diet of sustained American bliss.

An actual black woman (stuffed) driving an actual welfare Cadillac (mounted), to a chorus of pre-recorded jeers and catcalls played on continuous loop through a brand new $14.99 Chinese stereo system.

A 100-yard-long covered arbor, shimmering in the golden glow of the late morning sun, with a hologram of St. Reagan the Munificent smiling warmly and beckoning everyone to follow him down the arbor and into the giant mosh pit of greenbacks just beyond the walkway, where his hologram, along with hundreds of live worshipers, will remove their clothing and leap into the money pit, there to wallow around rubbing newly minted twenties all over their shark-belly-white ripples of suet to the strains of Wagnerian opera until the guards come to gently lead them away.

And it wouldn't be America without a tribute to the Bush royal family. Through the miracle of Disney-patented animation, life-size figures representing each of the Bushes, from Poppy and big Barb down to Jenna and that crack addict skank in south Florida, tell their stories of conquest and debauchery, the heartbreak caused by their genetic difficulties with the English language, their investment secrets (well, not *all* of them), their brushes with the law in more than 120 different nations, even the roots of their undying love for the barren, bleak and biologically dead flatlands of west Texas (quite a story; your eyes will get a little misty).

All that wonderfulness, all day, every day, for less than the price of a bucket of KFC chicken-rats. Who could resist? Then we can all go and flip off the commie bastards next door.

Last one there's a Democrat!


wp