Reply #64: Parenting in the US is abominable. [View All]

I can't begin to count the number of "parents" who tell their young kids they don't have the 'right' to refuse a hug or refuse to hug an adult.

It appalls me ... even if I'm the adult they're told to hug.

I've "offended" more than one 'parent' by telling their child that they NEVER have to hug an adult if they don't want to. I make a point of talking to the kid JUST LIKE THEY'RE REALLY A HUMAN BEING. (It's probably no accident that kids usually like me. I like them.)

For Gawd's sake! NEVER tell your kid they have to touch or be touched by an adult, no matter WHO that adult is, if they don't want to. I can't think of a worse way to raise kids ... they not only lose any sense of ownership of their own physical/sexual boundaries, they often wind up associating healthy affection with a violation of their rights.

Hugs are wonderful!! We need 'em. But we must ALWAYS be secure in our own physical boundaries.