Reply #25: My family's been Army since the revolution [View All]

a couple of sailors in there, too. Even if you get out of war unscathed physically, there are the dead friends, the slaughter, all that. My grandfather (bronze star and a whole bunch of other medals, WWII for the duration and Korea) never talks about his combat experiences. My dad was an Army aviator in Vietnam, and does tell his stories on occasion--that war destroyed my parents' marriage, because he wasn't the same man after his last tour.

I've brought up the issue of genital wounds on DU before. It's the one missing limb soldiers don't talk much about. It's sad that it's not a joke, it's all too real for these men and their families. I became interested (if that's the word) because of an event in my wife's family. One of her great aunts married a vet in the 1950's. She asked her priest after a year of marriage why she wasn't pregnant. After some questioning, the priest figured out they were not having sex because the veteran was incapable due to his war wounds. Incredibly, my wife's great aunt (Catholic, naturally) didn't really know the facts of human reproduction. To add insult to injury, the church wouldn't annul the marriage. They never said why, but I imagine they thought it was wrong, in the patriotic 1950's, to annul a vet's marriage because his wounds left him incapable of consummating it. My wife's aunt got a civil divorce and had to leave the church. I know it probably sounds apocryphal, but that's the tale I was told (including the vagueness about the extent of the vet's wounds in this case--it was reported only that he had only partial use of one of his legs and had to use a cane).

Good luck with your nephew. I cannot say in a blanket way that I would never recommend military service to any of my students. For many folks, it's a rewarding way of life, and it's put bread on my family's table for generations. With the endless tours, the redeployments, and the messed up character of this particular war, however, I would say that this is a bad time to be a soldier, marine or reservist.