Reply #16: This might partially be a situation that must be judged [View All]

according to the individual child. Some at that age still don't see the accident photo and put themselves in it - they're still immortal, and sometimes still lacking the ability to place themselves in someone else's shoes. Other kids are so sensitive that it might frighten them to the point that they're not really safe yet behind the wheel.

And then, as you say, there's the issue of privacy - someone else's tragedy being used as an education device. I suppose it's best in that case to have the permission of the victim/victim's family to do so. Without that, yes, it does feel a bit creepy to seek that out.

Driving, like much else we entrust our growing kids with, is a process. Sometimes a step backward. I don't know that I think one viewing of a horrible accident would carry as much weight as the constant discussion of safety that ought to start happening early - as soon as the child is aware of the act of driving, maybe. (This isn't an endorsement of the technique of my neighbor, who insisted he was taking extra safety steps by allowing his underage child to drive - on the town streets, on the highway, sometimes unaccompanied... I'm so glad that child is still unscathed, but such stupidity is stunning to me).

My son took a while before he could calm down enough and feel confident enough to drive safely. And he is safe - unlike his mother, he doesn't speed, for instance! Early in his solo driving, he slid on a wet 90 degree turn (doing all of 15 mph) and totalled the car. (I liked that car!). It was pretty traumatic for all of us - though thankfully, the car's totalling meant he was perfectly fine. He was a wreck about driving for a good long while - no confidence. And me? Wreck doesn't begin to describe me every time he took the car out!

As I said, a process...