Reply #140: Here is my take..... [View All]

Cudos to your daughter for having empathy for others. Cudos to you for supporting your daughter and not giving up.

My wife of 26 years is the type of teacher that any parent would want in front of their children. 12 years in front of 6th graders and 13 years now teaching pre-schoolers.

This is how she would have handled it and she says she has not had one student (even the 6th graders) not cave to admitting the truth.

The accused bully should have been taken into private room by the principle along with another adult. The principle should have just asked this question. "Would you like to explain the incident that occurred on the playground this morning concerning 'name'?". The child isn't accused of anything but an incident happening. They child generally feels that the other adult in the room is the witness although they generally aren't. They are there just to be a witness to the confession. "Most" children will assume that they were seen by this other adult. Most children will then either have to start lying immediately and be very uncomfortable with not knowing how much of the truth the "witness" actually knows or tell the truth. More often than not they start spilling the beans.

She also said under NO circumstances should the bully be able to face his accusers unless it is to apologize. It is apparent from your letter that the bully lacks some basic emotions like empathy and compassion and this can't be the first time his teachers would have had problems, giving your child and the victim even more credibility.

Any educator that has been in the profession any length of time would know that kids don't lie about a bully. They know they risk becoming the target of the bullying even more by reporting it. It is a shame that this principle didn't see this. Or if she did understand this fact she was trying to minimize the event and hoping it would go away and they wouldn't have to discipline the child.

Some more advice from my wife... don't make this a public event. It only would make life at the school more difficult for your child and the child being bullied.

And for those that criticized all teachers and all schools... Just shut up. It is obvious you had some bad experiences in school. We all do but it doesn't make the vast majority of great teachers out there all evil. Everyone makes mistakes as this principle seemed to have made in this case. There are weak employees in every profession at every level. It is up to the parents to continue to support their children when they know they are correct and to support the teachers for the same reasons.

This is a great learning experience for the children involved and for the parents as well. Proceed with a level head and you will get satisfaction on many levels.

Keep everyone posted on the updates.

Peace