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of "choice," my answer is always --
It is the woman's RIGHT to make that choice to terminate, for whatever reason, at whatever point in the pregnancy. No exceptions, no qualifications, no restrictions. Period. End of discussion.
And inevitably I encounter someone -- whether here on DU or elsewhere, there's always someone -- who says something along the lines of, "Do you mean, if a woman was eight and three quarters months pregnant and decided she just didn't want to go through with it, you'd say it was okay for her to abort? That's barbaric!"
My response is always, "Yes, you may think it is, and you're allowed to think that, but you aren't that woman. You don't know what's going through her head or her life. You don't know what is or isn't wrong with the baby. You don't know shit. You don't even know how many times such a scenario occurs, compared to the scenarios where women's lives are endangered by fetuses that have non-survivable birth defects or by complications of the pregnancy. A woman either has a RIGHT to terminate a pregnancy she no longer wants, regardless of why she doesn't want it any more, or she has no right at all. The right to abortion, in my opinion, is as fundamental to a woman's right to life as the right to breathe. No one else can live in her body, no one else can live in her heart and mind and soul; no one else should have the right to force her to do something with her body -- bear a child -- that she does not want to do."
Yes, I cringe at the thought of the woman who just says, "Oh, I'm tired of being pregnant; I want to get rid of it," but I also know it just doesn't happen that way, at least not very often. And for the few times that maybe it does happen, I'm absolutely and without guilt willing to put up with it and not blame the woman, because I know there are so many others who would be forced to sacrifice so much if abortion were outlawed or (further) restricted.
And I hope I didn't give the impression that I think women should not have any feelings about the decision to terminate a pregnancy. If for some it really is a decision that's kind of "Oh, shit, here we go again, but no big deal; I've lost count of how many I've had but it sure beats the alternatives," Well, okay, whatever floats your boat, honey. I think there are better alternatives for birth control, but that's me. I believe the option has to be there. And when it's just a matter of convenience, that, too, is okay with me. Better an abortion than a child brought into the world unwanted and unloved and uncared for. Far better.
For those women who terminate a pregnancy and never look back, hey, I'm okay with that. I don't think motherhood should be the be all and end all to a woman's existence. I'm glad they recognized and acknowledged their own needs and didn't sacrifice themselves for someone else's notion of what their happiness ought to be. And I sure as hell don't think this continuing patriarchal misogyny, which is at the foundation, is a very good thing for the future of the planet. But at the same time, I think we do have to retain some compassion for those women for whom the decision to abort is a heart-wrenching one, even if their resulting guilt is imposed by a patriarchal, misogynist culture that condemns a woman who isn't a mother or who voids a pregnancy.
(Back in the 1970s, a friend's mother committed suicide because she felt such unrelenting guilt over aborting a severely deformed Thalidomide baby back in the 1960s. All the logic over the fetus' inability to live anything even approaching normal life or even the effect it would have on the rest of the family ever made any difference to this woman. She was convinced she was a "murderer" and wasn't fit to live. So she took her own life and left her husband to raise their other three children. It was years before my friend was able to get over the idea that her mother loved "that dead baby" more than she loved the rest of the children. What a difference it would have made if it all had taken place in a culture where women's lives -- their physical health, their mental health, their freedom to be intellectual, creative, caring, working, loving beings -- are put ahead of the sacred notion of "woman is nothing but a bundle of sin that she can only expiate by being a mother, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until it kills her."
BF and I have had the discussion about abortion and about the death penalty more times than I care to count. I'm a strong proponent of on-demand abortion, no questions asked, and an equally strong opponent of the death penalty, period, no exceptions.
But then again, I'm
Tansy Gold
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