Mind Fuck

From soldiers blog: Fight to Survive

http://ftssoldier.blogspot.com/

<snip>
After I shot my first civilian I was very upset. I went back to my connex and trashed the place. I brought my frustration up to my chain of command and was directed to my chaplain. The very first thing he told me was that I was doing Gods work and I did what I did for my country’s and family’s safety. I was told I was in God’s hands and was an instrument of the lord. This was all very interesting, and even more angering, because I am an Atheist.

I realized what this officer was immediately doing was trying to construct meaning for my actions. In fact he was trying to manufacture meaning for the entire war. I saw through it and began to question my involvement in the entire operation.

Without that essential meaning there is a break down in personal identity, or the frame in which I think nails it, Character Damage. If there is one thing that every soldier seems to experience after being in combat or the war itself, no matter what his former personal beliefs, is doubt. Soldiers have to recreate their character based sometimes on who they were pre military, pre war, mid war or invent a whole new creature. Sometimes the personality we build is self destructive and sometimes we never solidify. Those are all mental illnesses attributed to the war that leaves veterans disabled.

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in America" shit?

pretty smart dude.