Richard Daughty, the angriest guy in economics -- World News Trust
Dec. 5, 2006 -- With the economic tension at a breaking point, it was obviously time for a Loud Mogambo Harangue (LMH), and I am helpfully yelling out of the window at the neighbors that the Federal Reserve has destroyed their money by the over-issuance of money and credit, and I was casually mentioning in a very loud voice how I am happy that they are going to be destroyed as a result, because I hate them for their stupidity in voting the way they have for the last 60 years, and for being so stupid that they are not buying gold even when faced with the stark reality of the inevitable consequences of their execrable actions, and how I admit that it was me who smashed their stupid mailboxes because mailboxes are supposed to match the color of your stupid houses, not clash, you tacky nitwits, when suddenly, out of nowhere, for no reason, scores of police are rudely banging down the front door and wrestling me to the ground! Everybody is sweating and cursing and grabbing while valiantly trying to clap the cuffs on me, tie me down, and stuff rags in my mouth, obviously trying to silence The Angry Voice Of The Mogambo (TAVOTM).
But I am fighting them the whole way, and trying to educate them as to why they should be angry, too, by yelling at them, "Total Fed Credit was up $5 billion last week, you morons! Hell, even Currency in Circulation expanded by another $4.7 billion! Those are new cash dollars created in one freaking week! One week! We are being killed by monetary inflation! And now we are being killed by the price inflation that always results! What are you, some kind of mindless government robots that you can't see that, you stupid jerks?"
Well, the guy who had his chin in my ear and his arm around my throat said, through gritted teeth, that he did not like the "tone" of my voice, and the situation was made even more tense by my wife screaming for them to give me, "More groin kicks! Smash his head with a nightstick! Hit him with the Tazer! Shoot him! Something!"
I knew that I would soon tire before these young, muscle-bound goon-squad commandos did, and I realized that I probably had one last, slim chance to impress upon these public servant numbskulls that my panic is justified. So I bellowed out, "And Required Reserves in the banks sank, as a percentage of either assets or liabilities, to a new record of irresponsible nothingness! This is fractional-reserve banking gone absolutely insane, you stupid, fascist pig morons!"
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