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OffWithTheirHeads Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-18-07 11:35 AM
Original message
The dangers of excessive thinking
> It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
>
> then -- just to loosen up.
>
>
>
> Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than
>
> just a social thinker.
>
>
> I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it
>
> wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally
>
> I was thinking all the time.
>
>
> That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off
>
> the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night
>
> at her mother's.
>
>
> I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
>
> mix,but I couldn't help myself.
>
>
> I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir
>
> Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied
>
> confused,asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
>
>
> One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it
>
> hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If
>
> you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
>
>
> This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
> conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been
> thinking..."
>
>
> "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But
>
> Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower
>
> lip aquiver.
>
>
> "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't
>
> make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
>
>
> "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.
>
>
> She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
>
> deal with the emotional drama
>
>
> "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I
>
> headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into
>
> the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.
>
> They didn't open. The library was closed.
>
>
> To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
>
> night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a
>
> poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it
>
> asked.
>
>
> You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers
>
> Anonymous poster.
>
>
> This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
>
>
> I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non- educational
>
> video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how
>
> we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
>
>
> I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
>
> seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road
>
> to recovery is nearly complete for me.
>
>
> Today I took the final step...I joined the Republican Party.
>
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silverweb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-18-07 01:12 PM
Response to Original message
1. LOL
Good one! :D

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snappyturtle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-18-07 03:03 PM
Response to Original message
2. Thank you!
:rofl:
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Demeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-18-07 05:02 PM
Response to Original message
3. Not a Completely Faulty Syllogism There
Professors are paid for their ability to scarf up research money, not to think.
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Kurovski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-18-07 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. But they have to think of ways to do that.
Is this from an email, or did you write it yourself, tmfun?

'"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.' :D

Recommended.
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OffWithTheirHeads Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-18-07 06:37 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. My step daughter sent it to me. Had to pass it on.
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