It's none of your goddamn business, George!

It's none of your goddamn business, George!
by Wagenvoord | Nov 26 2007



In a dark age such as ours, one comes to love and appreciate our government spokesmen. With the writers’ strike darkening The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, they are the only source of original humor left on the tube.

Lindsay Beyerstein at Majikthise introduced me to the newest rising star on the Beltway comedy circuit, Donald Kerr, the principal deputy director of national intelligence.

Kerr opened his routine by saying that, “Privacy no longer can mean anonymity. Instead, it should mean that government and business properly safeguard people’s private communication and financial information. (Emphasis mine.)”

There are three types of comics: first-rate comics who produce cathartic laughter, second-rate comics who produce nervous laughter, and deviant comics who produce angry snorts. Kerr falls into the third category.

If I enter into any sort of transaction, I consent to reveal some personal information. This is usually financial information, and I expect that the institution to whom I give it will keep it secure. The operative word is “consent”. Kerr’s humor bubbles up when he inserts “government” into the mix and expands the information they and business will safeguard to include “personal communications.” Huh? What right does the government have to either my financial information or my personal communication? And which bank is storing the last email I sent to my sister in Colorado?

Frankly, I have zero tolerance for a standup comedian like Kerr telling me I no longer have my anonymity.

It gets better. He goes on to say, “Millions of people in this country—particularly young people—already have surrendered anonymity to social networking sites such as My Space and Face Book, and to Internet commerce. These sites reveal to the public and the government (he slipped the pesky word in again) what was once closely guarded information, like personal statistics and credit card numbers.”

Now I understand. Every time I send an email, post a blog or order a book from Amazon, I am giving the government implied consent to mine every byte of data about me that is floating in cyberspace.

Except, I give no such consent!

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http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/11229