The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 337

top10 ADMIN

(155 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sun May-18-08 11:51 PM
Original message

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 337

Edited on Sun May-18-08 11:55 PM by EarlG

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 337

May 19, 2008
2008 Election Preview Special

The past seven days produced such an abundance of conservative idiocy that I simply couldn't boil it all down to ten. Instead I thought it might be fun to take a look at what appears to be the Republican Party's developing 2008 electoral strategy. Enjoy!

Roll Out The Terrorist Boogeyman

Last week George W. Bush revealed the GOP's brand spanking new attack strategy for the upcoming elections...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,355521,00.html">May 14, 2008

President George W. Bush said Tuesday he was disappointed in "flawed intelligence" before the Iraq war and was concerned that if a Democrat wins the presidency in November and withdrew troops prematurely it could "eventually lead to another attack on the United States."

Now where have I heard that before?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/nov/01/midterms2006.usa">November 1, 2006

The Republicans returned to the theme that dominated the last two elections since September 11, hammering home the message that a vote for the Democrats would expose America to terrorist attack.

Result? The GOP lost control of both houses of Congress. Fine by me.

Play The Hitler Card

Also last week, George W. Bush appeared before the Israeli legislature to give a speech on the 60th anniversary of Israel's independence. Of course, Our Great Leader couldn't help but use the occasion to take an unprecedented swing at critics of his utterly disastrous foreign policy.

BOOSH: Some seem to believe that we should negotiate with the terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along. We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: 'Lord, if I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.' We have an obligation to call this what it is - the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history.

So who is this mysterious "some" that Bush is invoking? Maybe he was talking about his defense secretary Robert Gates, who said last week that, "We need to figure out a way to develop some leverage with the Iranians and then sit down and talk with them." Or maybe he was talking about himself, given that the administration is currently negotiating with North Korea.

And wait a minute... wasn't George W. Bush's own grandfather a Nazi sympathizer and war profiteer?

George Bush's grandfather, the late US senator Prescott Bush, was a director and shareholder of companies that profited from their involvement with the financial backers of Nazi Germany. The Guardian has obtained confirmation from newly discovered files in the US National Archives that a firm of which Prescott Bush was a director was involved with the financial architects of Nazism.

His business dealings, which continued until his company's assets were seized in 1942 under the Trading with the Enemy Act, has led more than 60 years later to a civil action for damages being brought in Germany against the Bush family by two former slave labourers at Auschwitz and to a hum of pre-election controversy.

The evidence has also prompted one former US Nazi war crimes prosecutor to argue that the late senator's action should have been grounds for prosecution for giving aid and comfort to the enemy.

Whoops.

Make Sure The Republican Nominee Contradicts Himself At All Times

It took about two seconds for John McCain to jump on board Bush's appeasement bandwagon.

McSAME: All I can say is: If Senator Obama wants to sit down across the table from the leader of a country that calls Israel a stinking corpse, and comes to New York and says they're gonna, quote, "wipe Israel off the map," what is it that he wants to talk about? What is it that he wants to talk about with him?

Jeez, calm down grandpa. Didn't your hero Saint Ronald of Reagan negotiate with the Iranians? Why, yes I think he did. And he didn't just negotiate with them - the Reagan administration sold weapons to Iran in exchange for hostages. Tsk tsk.

Meanwhile, as noted in Idiots 336, John McCain recently called Barack Obama the candidate of Hamas. Just one problem...

Democrats accused Sen. John McCain Friday of hypocrisy on the question of whether the United States should negotiate with terrorists and dictators, saying the certain Republican nominee had previously been willing to negotiate with the militant Palestinian group Hamas.

In an op-ed published Friday in The Washington Post, former Clinton State Department official James Rubin said that McCain, responding to a question in a television interview two years ago about whether U.S. diplomats should be working with the Hamas government in Gaza, said:

"They're the government; sooner or later we are going to have to deal with them, one way or another, and I understand why this administration and previous administrations had such antipathy toward Hamas because of their dedication to violence and the things that they not only espouse but practice, so ... But it's a new reality in the Middle East. I think the lesson is people want security and a decent life and decent future, that they want democracy. Fatah was not giving them that."

As an encore, McCain went on to explain that if he is elected president, he'll have the troops out of Iraq by 2013. Unlike his Democratic opponents he didn't actually feel the need to explain how he's going to achieve this, but I'm guessing it will have something to do with a pair of ruby slippers.

Now, I know what you're thinking - hasn't McCain spent the last several years lambasting anyone who dared to suggest we shoud have a "timetable for withdrawal?" Sure he has, but that was when he was buttering up the Republican base. Now he needs to appeal to rational people, he's apparently decided it would be a good idea to have a timetable after all.

For many, many more contradictions, check out Robert Greenwald's new video - and don't forget to pass it along.

Revel In Your Own Ignorance

Chris Matthews has appeared on this list numerous times ("sunny nobility," anyone?) but the guy occasionally has his moments. One of those moments came last week when Matthews faced down right-wing talk radio nutball Kevin James. During an appearance on Hardball, James tried to compare Barack Obama to Hitler-appeasing British prime minister Neville Chamberlain - but Matthews decided to call his bluff and give him a history quiz, asking him to specifically explain what Neville Chamberlain did in 1938.

Of course, James didn't know - but lack of knowledge never gets a good right-wing talk show host down. James tried to bluster his way through the rest of the segment by shouting at the top of his voice, but Matthews was relentless, asking him no less than nineteen times to explain himself, before telling him, "you don't know what you're talking about."

Watch the video, if you haven't already, and ponder to yourself how someone like Kevin James managed to graduate from elementary school, let alone get the opportunity to appear on television as a spokesperson for the GOP.

Joke About Assassinating Your Opponent

There aren't many friendly venues left for Republicans this year, but Karl Rove managed to find one last week - the 137th Annual National Rifle Association Leadership Forum Meeting, in Louisville, Kentucky.

Just as Barack Obama was calling President Bush and John McCain "dishonest" and "divisive" after they suggested yesterday Obama would appease terrorists, he was broadsided again, this time on the issue of gun control.

(snip)

You know in the age of Barack Obama I don't know exactly what to call you, because after all, as he said, because we're bitter and economically anxious, we 'cling to our guns and we cling to our faith.' Does that make us clingers or cling-ons?" said Rove, laughing, referring to comments Obama made last month at a San Francisco fund-raiser.

Hilarious. But the gags only got funnier from there, as former GOP presidential contender Mike "Did I Mention I Play Bass" Huckabee took to the stage.

Rove wasn't the only speaker to take aim at Obama. Mike Huckabee, speaking later in the program, was interrupted by a loud noise. "That was Barack Obama," he said. "He just tripped off a chair. He was getting ready to speak and someone pointed a gun at him and he dove for the floor."

Get it?!?!1111

Demonstrate How Completely Ineffectual You Are

Back in 2000, a steadfast George W. Bush declared that oil prices - then $50 a barrel - were far too high, and that if elected president, "I would work with our friends in OPEC to convince them to open up the spigot, to increase the supply ... Use the capital that my administration will earn, with the Kuwaitis or the Saudis, and convince them to open up the spigot."

Eight years later - with oil approaching $130 a barrel and gas costing $4 a gallon at the pump - Bush decided to finally go to the Saudis and convince them to open that darn spigot.

President Bush used a private visit to King Abdullah's ranch here on Friday to make another appeal for an increase in oil production that might give American consumers some relief at the gasoline pump.

So how did that go? Did Bush use all that capital his administration had earned to "jawbone" the Saudis into meeting his demands? Not exactly.

The Saudis responded by announcing they had decided a week ago on a modest increase of 300,000 barrels a day.

The White House said the increase would not be enough to lower gasoline prices, which are nearing $4 a gallon, and industry analysts called it mostly symbolic.

(snip)

The White House billed the visit on Friday as a way to celebrate 75 years of United States-Saudi relations, but that relationship, while strong under past presidents, especially Mr. Bush's father, has grown strained under this president.

Mr. Hadley told reporters recently that "the Iraq war was a stress" on the relationship. Jon Alterman, a Mideast expert at the Center for Strategic and International Studies, said Saudi confidence in the United States has been "extremely shaken," over the war as well as what Saudis perceive as Mr. Bush's lackluster effort on behalf of the rights of Palestinians.

Blow Your Top Like Mount Vesuvius

Okay - to be fair, this isn't related to the 2008 elections. But everyone loves to see Bill O'Reilly humiliated, so please check out this recently-revealed behind-the-scenes footage from an old episode of Inside Edition where the Falafel Master demonstrates how he won a Peabody.

There are some great remixes of this video all over the Web, one of the best is right here.

Divorce Yourself From Reality

Last week George W. Bush told Politico.com that in order to demonstrate the seriousness of the Iraq war, he gave up playing golf in 2003. "I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf," he said. "I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal."

Well thank goodness for that.

Wouldn't want the president to send the wrong signal to military families during a time of war.

Shaft The Troops

Meanwhile...

An internal e-mail written by a Veterans Affairs Department employee suggested avoiding a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder for veterans and instead considering a diagnosis that might result in a lower disability payment.

(snip)

"Given that we are having more and more compensation seeking veterans, I'd like to suggest that we refrain from giving a diagnosis of PTSD straight out. Consider a diagnosis of Adjustment Disorder, R/O PTSD," the e-mail said.

It also said, "Additionally, we really don't or have time to do the extensive testing that should be done to determine PTSD."

(snip)

Just last week, (VA Secretary James) Peake was called to Capitol Hill to answer questions about internal e-mails that surfaced during a trial that seemed to suggest VA officials were hiding the number of veterans trying to kill themselves. One e-mail started with "Shh!" Some lawmakers have said the official who wrote it should be fired, but Peake has said he has no plans to do so.

It's a good job Bush has given up playing golf, otherwise people might have gotten angry about that.

Get Your Priorities Straight

Don't worry though - it looks like the troops might finally get some justice.

Sen. Arlen Specter on Wednesday called for an independent investigation...

Way to go, Sen. Specter!

...of the New England Patriots' taping of opposing coaches' signals, possibly similar to the high-profile Mitchell Report on performance enhancing drugs in baseball.

Oh.

Give Up Any Pretense Of Being The Party Of "Family Values"

Exhibit A:

The GOP primary race for retiring Rep. Darlene Hooley's (D-OR) seat took an interesting turn early this week when it was revealed one of the two self-proclaimed "Pro-Life" candidates paid for a girlfriend's abortion.

(snip)

Today, Oregon Right to Life is calling on Mike Erickson (R) to quit the race. But Oregon Right to Life knew about this during his 2006 campaign and sat silent, even after determining the woman's story was "credible."

Exhibit B:

So many people believed in Capt. Andrew Douglas Franz that they ponied up thousands of dollars in contributions for his unsuccessful 2006 bid for a 47th District House seat.

When Canon City, Colo., police announced that Franz was facing eight criminal charges alleging he attempted to have sex with a child under 15, no one was more stunned than those who supported the 41-year-old Kent resident, including gubernatorial candidate Dino Rossi.

Franz doorbelled for Rossi in 2004. When Franz ran for the Legislature, Rossi contributed to his campaign. So did former Governor John Spellman and former Seattle mayor Wes Uhlman, and both the Eastside Republicans of King County and the King County Republican Central Committee.

(snip)

According to Canon City police Capt. Allen Cooper, Franz, a military-science professor at Seattle University and a member of the Army National Guard, flew to Denver after prolonged conversations over the Internet with a woman who he believed was arranging sexual encounters with her 13-year-old daughter.

Gee, I wonder why House Republicans have decided to scrub every single "traditional family values" issue from their 2008 platform?

Get A New Slogan

It seems that GOP leaders have finally realized how far out of the mainstream they are, and last week they belatedly decided to jump on board the change train. Unfortunately the train had already left the platform and they fell face first onto the tracks where they were run over by the straight talk express that was heading at full steam in the opposite direction.

Yes, the GOP has a brand new slogan, and it's a good one: The Change You Deserve. At least, it would be a good one if it wasn't already being used by Wyeth to market their anti-depressant Effexor XR.

The Change You Deserve™

Are these symptoms of depression interfering with your life?

* Not involved with family and friends the way you used to be?
* Low energy, fatigue?
* Not motivated to do the things you once looked forward to doing?
* Not feeling as good as you used to?

If you're experiencing symptoms of depression and you're not where you want to be, talk to your doctor about your treatment options.

I have a feeling that a lot of Republicans are going to be getting the change they deserve this November.

Just Be Unapologetically Racist

Let's begin with some new T-shirts being sold by a Georgia conservative:

Classy. Now let's move on to the latest essay from genetics expert Michael Medved:

The idea of a distinctive, unifying, risk-taking American DNA might also help to explain our most persistent and painful racial divide - between the progeny of every immigrant nationality that chose to come here, and the one significant group that exercised no choice in making their journey to the U.S. Nothing in the horrific ordeal of African slaves, seized from their homes against their will, reflected a genetic predisposition to risk-taking, or any sort of self-selection based on personality traits.

(snip)

Senators Obama, Clinton and other leaders who seek to enlarge the scope of government face more formidable obstacles than they realize. Their desire to impose a European-style welfare state and a command-and-control economy not only contradicts our proudest political and economic traditions, but the new revelations about American DNA suggest that such ill-starred schemes may go against our very nature.

And let's end with Fox and Friends' Brian Kilmeade, who, when referring excitedly to a monkey he adopted from the London Zoo last week, said, "I'm responsible. It's almost like... almost like what Madonna did with that Malawi child."

I'm not making any of this up.

Lose Like The Bunch Of Losers You Are

And finally, Politico.com reported last week that "Many House GOP operatives are privately predicting that the party could easily lose up to 20 seats this fall."

Combined with the 30 seats that the GOP lost in 2006, that would leave the party facing a 70-vote deficit against Democrats in the House - a state of powerlessness reminiscent of Republicans' long wilderness years in the 1960s and '70s.

Things are not particularly more hopeful on the Senate side, where most analysts say Democrats have a strong chance of adding five or more seats to their current majority.

Panic and blame-casting for the dire condition were flowing in equal measures Wednesday inside the House Republican Conference and among party elders and operatives outside.

Meanwhile...

Lots of very glum faces among House GOP members this morning as they emerged from their weekly closed-door session. The political situation is not good, and they aren't even trying to deny it.

Rep. Tom Davis stomped on the concrete floor of the Capitol basement when asked by reporters about Republican fortunes at the moment.

"This is the floor," he said, by way of explanation. "We're below the floor."

Yeah, I'll say. See you next week!

-- EarlG