English is my second language...

but I think I wound up a Freeper on an Expat board in Holland.

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Just take the duct tape out... yea, that's right, the 4 rolls you bought when Bushco told you Saddam was gonna' gas your ass.

That's it, now take the first roll and start at the top... wrapping around your head.

That's it.

Keep going.

Going...

Down the neck.

OH STOP.

Don't forget the plastic wrap!!!! Saran!!!!

Place over face and start over again. Don't forget to leave a little hole so you can breathe! (on second thought... can we vote on this?)

That's it.

Round and round and round we go!!!!

Tape down to the chest...

YOU GOT IT! Round and round...

Keep going, keep going.

STOP!!!!!

Cover your privates now with the plastic wrap. We wouldn't want to see any genetically DNA altering mystery gas affect your ability to procreate would we?

Plastic over... well done!

Now continue taping. (I know Walmart is almost out and you may have to get more) but let's continue.

Down the legs, down to the toes, well done! Now you are safe! Don't worry! Saddam or Osama or whatever his name is... the guy who blew up NY won't be able to get you now!

You're safe. You're free!!!!! Weeeeeeeeeeee....

Good night.

Or Lekka Slappa as we say in Holland.