"A couple of tacos short of a combo plate"--can you top that?

On another threat, M. Lewis was quoted as using that fabulous phrase to describe our fearful leader.

There are other colorful descriptions, such as:

"He's not the sharpest tool in the shed"
"The lights are on, but nobody's home."
"He's a fry short of a Happy Meal."

I'd love to hear all your creative efforts to top these.

One brick short of a load
His elevator doesn't reach the top floor
One card short of a deck
The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Not the brightest bulb on the tree
If brains were taxed, he would get a refund

:evilgrin:

A bottle short of a six pack

A sandwich short of a picnic basket

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree

I've seen better heads on a root beer

Not playing with a full deck

A few cards short of a full deck

A few bricks short of a full load


rocknation

A couple of coins short of a roll

An 8-ball short of a rack

A couple of boobs short of a woman :evilgrin:

but they might need a little revision for the little underachiever who thinks he's king of the world--Dunderhead George is SIX bottles short of a six-pack, 52 cards short of a full deck, etc. The guy is far too overrated as it is (IMHO).

'bout as sharp as a sack of wet mice
dumber than a box of hammers (also rocks)
couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel.

No IQ contest winner, he; too stupid for the short bus; the result of a failed lobotomy; the best argument for abortion I've seen yet. I'm forgetting a ton of them.

Thanks for the short bus bit, it just explained short bus president's user name. Thank you ShortBusPresident wherever you are! I guess I'm just not the sharpest tack in the box.

on edit: Groucho Marx often used 'as sharp as a bowling ball' on his game show, 'You Bet Your Life'.

I oppose it, but in his case, I'll make an exception :evilgrin:

if he used BOTH hands!


rocknation

Attributed to Mark Twain.

eom

as useful as a screen door in a submarine.

Dumber than a sack of hammers.
One sandwich shy of a picnic.
The only bright thing in his home are the lights.
If my dog looked like him, I'd shave it's ass and teach him to walk backwards.
stupid is as stupid does.

thank you, Patrick Star

But I don't remember whom he was referring to but it could have been Bush before election 2000.

regarding the big to-do Quayle was making about Murphy Brown having an out-of-wedlock child in 1992. I remember watching when he said that, it was on the Tonight Show...one of the last with Johnny Carson, BTW. Carson said about Quayle, "Do you get the feeling that Dan Quayle doesn't have a full set of irons in his golfbag?"

That one was made up by me.:-)

dumber than a box of rocks
" " " nails

:kick:


My effort: A sniff of cocaine and a bottle of whiskey shy of WWIII.

Used in reference to a kid from the neighborhood who is really out to lunch.

in Crawford TX, eh? Or D. C.?

He's about 500,000 votes short of president!

I especially like Rummy's WWIII.

in the box.

not the brightest bulb on the candelabra.

numb as a boot.

sharp as a grape.

a few logs short of a cord.

--- Molly Ivins

the woman of the house I stayed in said one student had

"nicht gunug licht am der tannenbaum."

not enough lights on his Christmas tree

sorry if spelling wrong -- was over 20 years ago.

He's a quart low and still dripping.

People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

He says he lives by his wits. He's half right.

I don't know what his problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

edit: can't spell :crazy:

at a Mensa meeting anytime soon.

"There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it’s in Texas, it’s probably in Tennessee, that says: 'Fool me once… (2-second pause)… Shame on ...(2-second pause)... Shame on you… (3-second pause)… It — fool me. You can’t get fooled again.'"

— A reportedly sane George W. Bush, addressing a group of Nashville schoolchildren on the subject of his family's former business partner and CIA-supported despot, Saddam Hussein.

http://www.bartcop.com/092502lyons.htm

for all the Jackie the JokeMan fans

... that Little George is a couple of bulbs short of a chandelier.

"He's the dimmest bulb in the Bush Family Christmas Display."

mikey_the_rat

Hope it's not a dupe. :D

He don't have both oars in the water!
He's dumber in the head than a Hawg is in the ass!

...a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.

...teats on a boar.

Madonna fully dressed.


rocknation

He'd have to stop and ask for directions.


rocknation

But my new favorite is from Jim Hightower

"100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?"

Mama's leg.

Sorry...it just came to mind.

A couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.

A few cards short of a deck.

So dumb that he'd trip over a cordless phone.

Dumber than a box of hair.

If he was a cook he could fuck up Corn Flakes.
Conductor on the "Disoriented Express"
His elevator goes to the top floor..... but the doors don't open.


An Einstein quote comes to mind... (and I'm paraphrasing here)
"Insanity is when you try the same thing again and again and expect different results"

When talking about Bush the Lesser, R. Lee Ermey's rantings in Full Metal Jacket come to mind too:

(SGT) Where in the hell are you from anyway Private?
(PVT) Sir! Texas, Sir!
(SGT) Texas? Holy Dogshit, only steers and queers come from Texas and I don't see any horns on you, so that kinda narrows it down, doesn't it? Are you a peter pumper?
(PVT) Sir! No, Sir!
(SGT) Do you like to suck dicks?
(PVT) Sir! No, Sir!
(SGT) Bullshit! I'll bet you're the kind of guy who'd fuck somebody up the ass and not even have the goddamned common courtesy to give him a reach around! I got my eye on you Private!


This is exactly the kind of stuff that the Boy King could have used during his misspent youth. Something to knock him off his high horse and instill a bit of desperately need humility.



--MAB

I loved that movie!

A smidgen of the Available Evidence:


"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

"Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it's important to let people have more of their own money."
- George W. Bush, Boston, Oct. 4, 2002

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."
- George W. Bush, Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002


"I think the American people--I hope the American--I don't think, let me--I hope the American people trust me."
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

He has all the mental alacrity of garden tools.
He has the mental ability of a Fear Factor contestent.

He'll never be shot for what he knows.

I love it - all Preparation and no H. :toast:

Dumber than a box of rocks

Has a full 6 pack but is missing the plastic thingy

Uglier than a hand full of assholes

Dumber than a sack full of door knobs

-He’s missing a few buttons on his remote

-An intellect rivaled only by garden tools

-One eye closed and can’t see out the other

-His antennae doesn’t pick up all the channels

-He wouldn’t know shit if he stuck his thumb up his ass and it came out brown

-Barely worth his weight in dog shit

-Slower than a stoned turtle

-He’s not really so much of a has-been but more of a definitely won’t be

-He’s got delusions of adequacy

-Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap

-Whenever he opens his mouth it seems that it is only to change whichever foot was previously in there

-He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them

-A room temperature IQ

-Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching

-The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming

-Couldn’t pass a test of the Emergency Broadcast System

-Barely sharp enough to be a pinhead

-The few times he’s spot-on it’s considered a mind-altering experience

-He’s the guy you always see with his windshield wipers going at warp speed in a slight drizzle

-He's dead-on about as often as a broken watch

-Whenever he answers a question the image of a constipated shit-tossing monkey comes to mind.

He's not the quickest filly in the stable.

He's two eggs short of an omelet.

His brain isn't running on all cylinders.

There's smoke in the chimney, but no fire in the furnace.

from this link
http://www.lydbury.co.uk/cgi-bin/show.pl?tpc=4715&post=24927

(snip)
I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
- Susie Loucks

This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"
- Judy Tenuta

He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant.
- Carol Leifer

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
- Wendy Liebman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
- Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.
- Sue Grafton

I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
- Gilda Radner

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
- Roseanne

I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead.
- Sue Kolinsky

I look just like the girls next door . . . if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.
- Dolly Parton

I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blond.
- Dolly Parton
(snip)

He's not the brightest lightening bug in the swarm.

He ain't got 2 brain cells to rub together to spark off a thought.

And yes, I coined both of those myself. :-)

Darth Velma