Does God hate FAQs? - Democratic Underground

kiki

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:53 PM
Original message

Does God hate FAQs?

"Frequently Asked Questions" must have a whole different meaning for Him/Her/It...

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ayeshahaqqiqa

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:54 PM
Response to Original message

1. what if

God/Goddess IS the question, the questioner, and the answer?

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kiki

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #1

4. "God - the most Frequently Asked Question"

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earthside

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:55 PM
Response to Original message

2. Do I ever! n/t

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lib_1138

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:55 PM
Response to Original message

3. Well I thinking knowing you can answer ALL of them...

might add some fun. And being omnicient and everpresent, the quantity wouldn't really be at issue.

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kiki

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #3

5. "Dear God,

Is it possible for you to microwave a burrito too hot for you to eat?"

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HysteryDiagnosis

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #5

7. Some of the microwaveable burritos I have had have made me want

to eat the microwave instead.... which begs the question, God, can I eat the microwave and still be ok??

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kiki

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Sat Jan-08-05 03:01 PM
Response to Reply #7

9. "Yea,

Eat ye not the microwave, my child, nor the issue of the microwave. Rather, destroy the microwave, for it is an abomination in My sight.

Big shout out to all my seraphim."

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Swede

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:57 PM
Response to Original message

6. Please holdI, I have another call on line 2.

Hello.

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kiki

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Sat Jan-08-05 02:59 PM
Response to Original message

8. You guys had better stop impersonating Me.

You're in for a right proper smoting.

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illflem

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Sat Jan-08-05 03:30 PM
Response to Reply #8

13. Now you're getting me excited,

been awhile since I've had a good smoting

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msmcghee

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Sat Jan-08-05 03:08 PM
Response to Original message

10. The fallacy of God-hood . .

. . is that for any entity to act in any way, to make decisions, perform miracles, direct destiny, kill thousands using tsunamis or genocidal maniacs, whatever - they must first desire to do that.

An entity that is all-powerful, all-knowing, that never dies or faces the possibility of dieing - has nothing to fear or desire - and therefore has no reason to do any of those things.

Even amusement is a form of desire. But, what can even amuse an entity who never even faces the possibility of discomfort?

OTOH an entity who is not all-powerful, all-knowing, who can die and who faces that possibility - is mortal and therefore can not be a God.

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kiki

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Sun Jan-09-05 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #10

14. Indeed.

God decides to create the universe.

Instantly, God knows every detail of every event that will occur in the universe from the beginning to the end of time.

"Well, guess I know how that turns out," says God. "Doesn't seem to be a lot of point in actually doing it now..."

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Ian David

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Sat Jan-08-05 03:09 PM
Response to Original message

11. God Hates Faqs?

www.GodHatesFAQs.com
The domain is taken, but un-used:
http://www.betterwhois.com/bwhois.cgi?domain=GodHatesFaqs.com&x=0&y=0

www.GodHatesFAQs.org is available
http://www.betterwhois.com/bwhois.cgi?domain=GodHatesFaqs.org&x=0&y=0

www.GodHatesFredPhelps.com is taken, but un-used
http://www.betterwhois.com/bwhois.cgi?domain=GodHatesFredPhelps.com&x=0&y=0

www.GodHatesFredPhelps.org is available
http://www.betterwhois.com/bwhois.cgi?domain=GodHatesFredPhelps.org&x=0&y=0

On a different note, the following domain is available:
www.EverySpermIsSacred.com
http://www.betterwhois.com/bwhois.cgi?domain=EverySpermIsSacred.com&x=0&y=0

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damntexdem

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Sat Jan-08-05 03:13 PM
Response to Original message

12. Hey, don't ask questions like this until ...

you have proper authorization from the Question Authority.

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