ABC News last night: dinosaurs on Noah's ark

Last night on ABC News, there was a report on a museum that purports to advance the 'idea' that dinosaurs were on the ark built by Noah, which is why we now find fossils.

Here's my question: if the ark truly held all these animals and included the dinosaurs, how did it remain afloat? and what about the predator/prey relationship? what did all these animals eat?

anything but a parable. Like the Fall of Man.

that it SANK! Bwahaha :rofl:

"The story of a Great Flood sent by God or gods to destroy civilization is a widespread but not universal theme in myth. The stories of Noah and his ark in Genesis, Matsya in the Puranas scriptures of Hinduism, and Utnapishtim in the Epic of Gilgamesh are among the most familiar versions of these myths. A large percentage of the world's cultures past and present have stories of a 'great flood' that devastated earlier civilization."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deluge_%28mythology%29

DUH!!! :sarcasm:

My first laugh out loud of the day... Thanks

(don't know anymore lyrics)--but ends with the Unicorn got eaten.

I sort of took it as 60's pop/folk Christian music for kids.

A long time ago, when the Earth was green,
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen.
And they ran about and played while the Earth was being born,
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn.

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
The loveliest of all was the unicorn.

The Lord seen some sinning and it caused Him pain.
And He said, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain!"
He said, "Hey, Brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do,
Go and build me a floating zoo,"

"and take some".......

"Green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born.
Don't you forget My unicorns."

Old Noah was there to answer the call,
He finished up the ark just as the rain started to fall.
Then he marched in the animals two by two,
And he called out as they came through,

"Hey Lord,"

"I've got green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn,
I just can't find no unicorns!"

And Noah looked out through the driving rain,
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games.
Kicking and splashing while the rain was pourin',
Oh, them silly unicorns!

There was green alligators and long-necked geese,
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Noah cried, "Close the door because it's starting to storm,
And we just can't wait for those unicorns!"

The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide,
The unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried.
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away,
That's why you never see unicorns to this very day.

You'll see some green alligators and long-necked geese,
Lots of humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees.
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born,
You're never gonna see a unicorn!

I wonder if some fucktard Fundy Repuke will see that, and think it's the inspired word of God? Some of those folks are none too bright -

Either that or God gave them a shrinking ray like in Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

Or maybe it is just another sci-fi religion with sky-people that will come down and wreak havoc if we don't give them enough money.

Oh wait, that would mean aliens were on the Ark, nevermind.

Well, I could say that 'God' was able to make the interior of the ark much, much larger than the exterior, like Dr. Who's Tardis. He fed them with magic manna from the skies, and made the lion lay down with the lamb.

See? No need to try to apply logic once you've already had some of the magic god-mushrooms. Doing so lends more rationality to the god-tales than they deserve, and just makes logic into a cheap whore.

Best Noah's Ark / Dr. Who connection *ever*.

Namely cause I'm better it's the first one ever :p

Miracles to the left, miracles to the right, miracles in the middle, miracles above, miracles below. Who needs science.

for 43 years is wrong. you know only known animal, zebra, horse, chicken, elephant......... so i have been lied to for fourty three years. there was more?

look. flatly......the world is flat. wrong. i am not having academia turn into story telling. as a mama at that point i just have got to put my foot down. dont bring a story to my child and call it science.

that is all there is to do with it. i will take it all the way.

i am tired of grown, educated adults around me, telling me there is the possibility of creationism as being factual, and fuckin with my kids education. friends, family, father, seriously telling me to take creationism literally.

not gonna happen

not buying it either...refuse to go backwards. Fast food is destroying our children's bodies and fables destroying their minds.

Noah let the predators walk around during the night while the prey animals were asleep in their pens, and during the day the prey animals walked around while the predators slept in the pens.

The inflationary cosmological model of the proves that the universe was smaller in the past, so all of those animals were much tinier than we now know them to be. And the so-called cubits by which the Ark is measured are modern cubits (i.e., many times larger than the ancient cubits used by Noah).

He fed the animals through a secret no-bid (but perfectly legitimate with no need of transparency or accountability) contract awarded to KBR.

And the Ark was able to float because of the well-established principle of mast-based buoyancy. That is, Noah made sure to stow the really light stuff (such as helium ballons, feathers, and crepes) near the top of the Ark, and the buoyancy of these items "trickled down" to the lower decks, thereby floating the whole enterprise.

I know that it sounds preposterous and utterly contrary to common sense, but something very much like this wacky buoyancy scheme has been used to justify equally non-seaworthy economic policies of at least two Presidents.

Hell, if it worked for Noah...

Any other questions?

Or are we still talking about the Ark? :)

I'm sure the worker got a fair days wage for a fair days work. A grain or two of wheat a week, and after 90 years service, I'll bet he even got one day off every month!

:rofl:

The inside of the Ark was actually 7500-8000 times as big as the outside.

That's the Theory of Topological Relativity, the brand-spankin'-new science that the Fundagelicals thought up just last Wednesday.

God deliberately warped the fabric of space-time inside the Ark so Noah could accomodate all the creatures of the world.

In order to spare Noah and his family from a lot of extra work, part of the deal was to make time pass so quickly in the section of the Ark where the animals were that, to the animals, it would seem like only five minutes had passed, instead of the approximately four months to a year that Noah's family perceived in their safely shielded cabin.

That meant Noah and company could get a lot of Bible study in, and not have to worry about cleaning and feeding the animals.

When the Ark came to rest on the Mountains of Ararat, the animals would perceive that they had been herded in, and then promptly herded out. A weary Noah and family would then give praise and sacrifice stuff while the animals all peed and pooped at their leisure.

Of course it's scientific ... God did it. And they ought to make everybody learn about it in school, too.

--p!

with a meteor? Oh wait, that is just a foolish scientific theory! Silly me!

So what happened to the dinosaurs? And didn't the Ark story only happen in the last 5000 years? So I guess carbon-dating is a scientific myth too.

The guy who discovered its properties is a fairly intense "Christian", possibly a Dominionist, but I couldn't tell from the website his friend had.

The guy who invented the birth control pill was a devout Roman Catholic (and he was even from Rome). Stranger things have happened. A few of them have even happened to me. :)

--p!

prove points they like and then call it "theory" when we use it to prove their points false, or prove points they don't like?

They don't give a pig's penis about such theories. They're using it to shoehorn their political and religious ravings into the school system, because they are driven to dominate everything they see.

They see people who are free in their spiritual outlook, and they want to dominate their minds. They see women free in civic life, and they want to own them. They see children growing up without the chains of morbid belief systems, and they want to control them from conception to execution.

I believe the attitude is called "covetousness".

--p!

Well, I'm sure it only applies to us heathens, not to them.

yup - a throwback to those wonderful folks who brought us the Salem Witch Trials. Gee, America has really made progress in the last 315 years.

Carbon is long gone by the time you get to them. You need to use other elements.

that was supposedly found in Turkey? Iraq? I can't remember. There was some husk of a boat found to be thousands of years old and historical and biblical evidence seemed to date it to the time of Noah. My dad had the book many years ago and I remember looking at the pictures and him talking about carbon-dating which all new to my young brain then.

I had a religion class last year in which the professor talked about the conditions in Baghdad, the flooding of the Tigris, and the conditions that existed that would have allowed Noah to build an ark and have it still be partially intact. He said it was a theory that the remains of the Ark had been found, but only a theory. And he was evangelical by trade too...just actually studied his Bible and made his own decisions on what he read...if only they could all be that way.

Anyway, I can just imagine the Fundies accepting carbon-dating to prove something like the Ark, but then refuting it when it didn't come up with the answers they liked for that or some other thing.

Quite obviously, too big to actually work, since it was made of wood.

Oops! Stupid physics ruins a good myth every time.
The Professor

Or did god gather them for Noah. I don't recall how the story] goes. If God gathered all the animals and knew they would end up on the top of the mountain why didn't God just make the animals walk to the top of the mountain and wait until the waters receded? Why the big boat part?

(through Adam and Eve) are inbred freaks...to what other individuals did they breed? I love to drop the Adam and Eve thing on Fundies. Then they say "well, there were other people somewhere. It wasn't incest with Cain and Abel." Well, then why doesn't it say that in the Bible? If it isn't in the Bible, it didn't happen. So explain yourselves, Fundie Freaks!:freak:

Noah's sons used Pteradactyls to soar above the seas as they collected all species from far away lands!

All kidding aside, there's a very specific list of exactly what animals were on the Arc in the story. A very SHORT list, with so many of the clean and fewer of the unclean animals collected. Why this list is ignored by fundamentalists that insist on hallucinating dinosaurs onto the Arc is beyond me.

Depends if they were 'clean' (presumably 'fit for food') or not.

It's been many, many years.

if someone dug up today a bunch of goat skins with a story of the creation of earth and translated it from an original language into Greek, then Latin, then English, they'll surely found a bunch of "followers"... but hardly millions believing it's factual history.

The vast majority of today's Christians and people living in Christian countries consider the Bible as a parable, except - for some strange reason - a majority of Americans...

As I stated elsewhere, Europeans as a rule are better educated, more erudite than the average American. With a more realistic worldview. And we know it, and it pisses some people off. As has been said, the truth hurts.

Oh, wait...

There isn't one.

:sarcasm:

I mean, it's a pretty long swim from the Middle East to Australia! And how did the pandas make it? They must have brought a lot of eucalyptus leaves!

The pandas used their famous "thumb" to hitchhike to China.

And of course they brought eucalyptus leaves! Show me where it says anything about Noah having a persistent cough due to cold?!?

You really need to read your Scripture. It's The Literal Truth, you know.

They can't fly. How they get to Antarctica? And don't try that hitchhiking stuff, either! Not gonna work on this one! And, i don't wanna read the scripture! And you can't make me! You're not the boss of me.
The Professor

And they served as waitstaff on the Ark. That's how they acquired their distinctive appearance.

It's all right there in Genesis. I'll try to find the exact verse...

Aha! Got ya! You and your literal bible stuff! Too easy! Like shooting penguins in a barrel. (Not that i would do such a thing.)
The Professor

They were the waitstaff! What good is a waiter who swims alongside the boat?!?

Honestly, it's like you're not even serious about this discussion.

See, you're just making this stuff up. Monkeys have thumbs. The penguins were useless. You know how they are. I gotcha and you know it!

I don't feel like we're hijacking this thread, because the whole thing is just so silly. No?
The Professor

If man evolved from monkeys, why are there monkeys?
Man did evolve from monkeys

Therefore, there are no monkeys

It's simple and perfectly logical.



re: Hijacking--the sad part is that our heated debate is almost indistinguishable from "real" creationist argument. And this is what ABC uses to fill its airtime?

It is truly unbelievable that such nonsense would get airtime on a world-wide network.

Of course, maybe ABC doesn't believe in satellites either! The Bible doesn't say anything about satellites in space now does it. Ergo, they must not be up there.
The Professor

Or is the interjecting too much science into this?

Someone who has problems listening to folk who advocate a literal interpretation of the bible, I am!

Corrections are always welcome when I'm wrong (which happens all too frequently)! Thanks!

so you're okay :)

Welcome to DU!:hi:

Thanks to you, too! I hate being wrong but recognize when I am that I need to admit it!

that they'd rather eat bamboo leaves.

Fortunately for all concerned, the Friendly Koalas agreed to take all the eucalyptus off the pandas' hands.

"There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown." Genesis 6:4.

Who cares about the dinosaurs ... what happened to the giants? Were they on the ark too?

Goliath was an evil giant - was he the son of "sons of God came in unto the daughters of men"?

entire new Testament????

Taking those words literally, as Fundamentalists are known to do, it means that God's sons impregnated the daughters of men, resulting in a race of Giants.

So, I am assuming then, that God a wife (or wives). And Jesus had older brothers?


I think it's funny, that some of this stuff was left in the Bible.
And that modern day Fundies have no grasp on the historical and cultural realities of that era.

They don't even have a grip on the realities of their own era - don't make their heads explode by thinking. All them thar ol' boys need is the Word of Gawd, the dictates of Dubya, and the latest issue of "Guns and Ammo". Ding nabbed over edycated hippeyes.

There are actually people -- I guess millions of 'em -- who ACTUALLY BELIEVE that the story of Noah's Ark is literally true.

Can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

And I don't blame the schools.

--IMM

Can you say - "simpleton"?

... and they evolved into the rest of the animals and humanity after the flood waters dissipated.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

I saw that "museum director" on ABC ... I thought I'd eaten some bad shellfish and was hallucinating, the thing was so friggin' ridiculous. He basically admitted his museum is dedicated to making stuff up to make the Bible and science fit together.

Dinos on the Ark. Damn, that must have been a helluva boat.

even my husband, who continued to watch all this time, has given up on the evening news.

i am really glad. saves the enamel on my teeth

the billions of different species alone would have taken up all the space

different types of dog breeds???


Maybe they evoloved after the Ark landed? LOLOLOL!

I am beginning to understand the magnitude of the problem.

I can't believe people buy into this shit. The stories in the bible are like a children's pop up book. They are there for explanation and entertainment. Noah's arc did not happen. And even if it did, there were no fucking dinosaurs on it.

First of all, have you ever seen the SIZE of these dinosaur fossils and the projected size when skin, muscle and bone are added? A Brontosuarus would not fit into the fucking boat, I guarantee it, let alone two of each of them. Fucking' Morons.

Sorry--I didn't get the joke (and that misspelling is rampant on DU too, alas!)

to further the falsehood of evolution. And this was many, many years ago. yep. People out in the deserts putting fake bones into solid rock and then going back and 'discovering' them. :dunce: :freak:

And, really, how can you argue with somethat that insane? You can't. God is, apparently, quite the practical joker.

You can argue that such a "test" is act of deception, and deception is evil. Therefore, either God is (at least partially) evil, or the "test" is not the correct interpretation of the data.

Not that logic will get you anywhere with these zealots.

God has done plenty of things that would be considered "evil." You know, like: Flooding the world, killing first borns, killing Egyptians in the Red Sea, punishing Job, creating hellish diseases etc.

Maybe their response would be "God created evil... so what"

You can back them into a corner using logic and common sense, but you will alwasy lose the argument because they hold the divine trump card............."God says so"

through works unknown (or somewhat known through the scientific method) to us and they still question it.

They start spewing the most ridiculous bullshit, completely void of any logic or science.

where's the evidence?

and then one of them would have eaten the other!!!! Come on - who buys this crap?

:sarcasm: :rofl: :rofl:

gremlins eating away at the wing of the plane during a storm and then taken away to a psychiatric ward once the plane landed safely. I've seen this somewhere in the Twilight Zone movie.

gremlins eating away at the wing of the plane during a storm and then taken away to a psychiatric ward once the plane landed safely. I've seen this somewhere in the Twilight Zone movie.

Of course, Bugs Bunny was also in a plane that was crashed because of a gremlin-- or it would have crashed, but it ran out of gas just in the nick of time.

Now shut the heck up. Lord be with you.

"purports" "advance" "idea"

God's Fairy Tale with Jerry Falwell as editor

since the usually explanation is that the reason the fossils are buried so deeply is the flood!)

But there's a bit of evolution buried fairly deeply in creationist theory, and it's only because of the really recent response to evolution that it's been largely obfuscated.

BHere's a bit of taxonomic/genetic/anthropological trivia: Most tribes, whether in Europe or New Guinea, are quite good at spotting relatedness of species. After all, usually the similar genes = recent split in evolutionary tree = similar features.

The usual taxonomy for plants/animals, consequently, usually follows what evolutionary biologists would say. Closely related species in the taxonomy are closely related species as far as dna is concerned. It doesn't always work, and distant relations are frequently missed.

The Torah says animals were created "after their kind". Same for Noah and his ark. One interpretation wasn't that each variant of each animal was created separately, or on the ark, but just "kinds."

The claim is that 'after their kind' means sort of undifferentiated species, which, later, express the full range of generic variety. So maybe you have a kind of proto-caprid, which, after a thousand years, has either naturally (or by some sort of guidance) separated out into the extant catalog of caprids. The same claim was made for humanity: the first humans contained the full range of genetic diversity, and only with massive population growth did the diversity become obvious.

Take it or leave it, buried in there is something very similar to what evolutionary theory claims for the relatively recent past.

ones and that carnivores were vegetarians before the flood.

THey couldn't have remained in the water and survived.

Noah,s ark is to be questioned as to if it really happened. The Greek mythology has a flood story, but the capper is the Sumerians had the original flood epic, which many historians believe was adapted by the jews who were enslaved by the Sumerians during the reign of Gilgamesh. So now we have the media giving us Bu$h*t propaganda, along with scientific fairy tales. Is their any wonder now that man evolved from ape?

Oh by the way Sumeria was in the land we now have plundered (Iraq) and many archaeologists believe that there may be remains of an ark in Turkey's mountains. The Sumerian ark?

If it's not dinosaurs on an Ark, it's the very notion of a god-driven worldwide flood itself.

Sheesh!

Welcome to the New Amerika!!!

History's first idiot empire run by children for children.

Just how stupid can the people of this country get? We're a laughing stock. Is it time to utterly despair???

Instead of traveling forward into the future; we are are stumbling back toward the past...

I mean this thing was like the mother ship from Close Encounters. No laser light show though. And it wouldn't hover either. You had to be there.

Don

I just can't believe that we have reached a point in our society where nutjobs like that are given any credibility at all.

http://www.answersingenesis.org/museum/


It's in my state, too.


:(

Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth

:rofl:

http://www.nwcreation.net/noahlegends.html my sense is that evangelical fundamentalism of whatever stripe cannot fathom the apocryphal closing & opening of vast eras over eons of time without an allegorical little ditty of some kind

n/t

haven't you ever heard of intelligent design? damn liberals.

AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggh!

It was inquiring into whether the flood stories from the bible and earlier stories of the Sumerians might have resulted from the fact that several thousand years ago the Black Sea was smaller than today and separated from the Mediterranean by a narrow land bridge which suddenly gave way, flooding hundreds of square miles in Asia very rapidly.

I don't recall the title or author. There is also a theory that "the Flood" legends may be based on the flooding of the Mediterranean valley. But at no time in history was the world ever totally inundated. Noah's story is a myth based on the "Epic of Gilgamesh", an older Mesopotamian myth.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0605/flyingdinos.html

New Evidence Suggests Noah's Sons Rode Flying Dinosaurs

CREATION SCIENCE BREAKING NEWS

For years, Creation Scientists have disputed how Noah was able to quickly collect millions of indigenous animals from remote, inaccessible regions of the world for a 40-day ride in his ark. New evidence from an archeological find in China supports the long held Christian belief that Noah's sons rode giant flying dinosaurs to transport duck billed platypuses from Australia, and penguins and polar bears from the Antarctic, to name a few. "Those must have been some mighty big flying dinosaurs," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "Imagine the look on Noah's face when his sons flew in for a landing with a pair of Hippos strapped to the back of one of them things! Glory to God!"

"The Lord is just amazing," says Creation Scientist, Dr. Jonathan Edwards. "Whenever Atheist scientists make a new find, they think it will hack away at our Christian beliefs. They must get pretty peeved at how sneaky our Lord is, because whenever they unearth something, it only provides more support for the historical accuracy of the Holy Bible And these flying dinosaurs they keep finding are no exception!"

Dr. Edwards explains that it would have been impossible for Noah's sons to travel to the four corners of the earth to areas that were previously inaccessible on foot. "Noah and his sons had to collect two of every single creature on the face of the planet," he says. "We're talking about a big haul here. At first we just attributed it to what Creation Scientists call, the Holy Finger Snapping Theory. That's where God snaps his fingers and just makes it so." Edwards points out that Creation Scientists are still unanimous in attributing the fact that Noah was able to load 100 million plus animals onto a 450 foot ark "in the selfsame day" (Genesis 7:13-14) to the Finger Snapping Theory. In the case of how the animals were collected from remote regions of the world in the first place however, recent archeological finds indicate that Noah's sons were able to tame giant flying dinosaurs and in turn, load them up with food supplies and hitch rides for long trips around the world to China, South America, Australia, Greenland, and the North Pole.

Creation Scientists estimate that since the Earth is only ten-thousand years old, human beings were living among dinosaurs and had plenty of time to tame them. "I would have loved to have been around to see Cain and Abel rolling around in the grass outside the Garden of Eden playing with the pet raptors their father, Adam, gave them for their birthdays," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "What a glorious time that must have been!"