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Jesus Christ Implicated in Rush Limbaugh Drug Addiction Scandal

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Selwynn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 01:45 PM
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Jesus Christ Implicated in Rush Limbaugh Drug Addiction Scandal
Jesus Christ implicated in Rush’s drug addiction
Associated Press
October 14, 2003


In yet another startling bombshell, this reporter has learned that Jesus Christ himself is directly linked to the Rush Limbaugh drug addiction scandal. The revelation follows Rush’s startling public confession that he had been addicted to illegal painkillers for many years, and have been buying them off the black market.

A source close to the Son of God has claimed that Jesus allegedly said "narrow is the gate and narrow is the way that leadeth into paradise." This blatant and obvious jab at the fact that Rush is fat threw the former king of hate radio into a cycle of depression and desperation, which inexorably led to his addiction.

The source attributing this quote to Jesus Christ remains anonymous despite numerous attempts to track him down. This quote has been well documented in numerous books however, and a large majority of Jesus’ followers attest that he did indeed make such a comment.

After discovering the link between Jesus’s comments and Rush’s drug addiction we asked a man on the street for his reaction to the news. When asked for comment, Joe Conservative said, “Curse you Jesus! You heartless bastard!” when stuttered burst into tears and sobbed “forgive me Jebus, I’ve sinned!”

We tried to reach Jesus for comment but then remembered he’s been dead for 2,000 years.

http://www.thisisjustajoke/iwrotethis/besuretopatmeontheback.html
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av8rdave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 01:48 PM
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1. And all this time I thought...
it was President Clinton's fault!

Dave
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DK666 Donating Member (727 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. It was
Linda Tripp saw it and recorded it
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Selwynn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 01:51 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Hahahahhahaa
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Selwynn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 02:11 PM
Response to Original message
4. Sigh... ah well, clearly I'm not as funny as I think I am ... :D
back to the drawing board...
:D
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kaitykaity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-14-03 02:20 PM
Response to Original message
5. Locking.
Please see rule #5 here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=463744

5. You may not start a new discussion thread in order to continue a current or recent flame war from another thread. The moderators have the authority to lock threads in order to contain flaming on a particular topic to only one thread at a time.
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