I've had the most deliciously appropriate idea for a trick on the fundies

You'd need a few props and a little bit of special effects wizardry, but I can't help thinking that this would be terribly funny, even if it were kind of mean.

Credit to Mark Twain's "The War Prayer" for prior art, though I didn't think of it until after I had the idea.

A tall man wearing long white robes walks into an extremely fundie church during regular services. He's wearing a sheathed sword, and acting otherworldly. He walks up to the pulpit, not bothering to look at the crowd, and motions the preacher aside. He then launches upon something like this:

Behold, oh petitioners! I come with a message from the throne of Almighty God! He has looked upon your works, and upon your souls, and known you.

You have preached intolerance and fear of those unlike you. You have sown division and destitution. You have spilled innocent blood in the name of the Lord God. You are blasphemers in the eyes of Jesus, spreading hatred in the name of He that is love.

You have judged others--so to have you been judged! Prepare to meet your fate upon the Sword of the Lord!

Cue him to draw the sword, and as he does the blade lights on fire. Then he just stands there to watch the fundies run in terror. Despite all their posturing, the thing that they really fear more than anything else is actual divine judgement, 'cause they're sorely lacking by any measure.

There's a time in every movie for the slow-clap, and this is it.

(clap. clap. clap. clap. clap. clapclapclapclap)

You rule.

I will donate organs or expensive drinks or something nifty for the videotape if you ever manage to do this. Please oh please.

:rofl: :applause: :rofl:

This would make for such amazing TV....reminds me of some of the stunts Michael Moore did on his TV shows....but better.

:applause:

That would be a performance worthy of seeing again and again.

Evil. And so very very perfect.

fsc

:rofl:

The Mall, children's birthday parties, homecoming games.

Awesome.