Lets have a very right wing Christmas.

Here's a few things you can do to get in the spirit.

Arrange your Christmas lights in the shape of a giant middle finger.

Put up a Santa display with the words "Ho Ho Ho, Bite Me!"

Print up some cards that say "Fuck You and Merry Christmas."

Burn a cross on Christmas eve.

(Feel free to help me out here)

Happy Holidays.

If you really want fundy heads to spin, print out a tract denouncing Santa, trees, etc, as not being Christian. And denounce the megachurches who won't be having services on Christmas Day. Demand that we go back to the Puritan concept of Christmas-they didn't celebrate it at all!

because gift giving on Christmas Day is another perversion. The gifts were originally given on Twelfth Night, Jan 6, the day the Magi arrived with their gifts.

Something about how the evil commie liberals are trying to take away Christmas and replace it with "happy holidays" in the effort to clear out any mere mention of religion in public.

And gas them. Really damn Christmassy.

Oh! Sorry! We're not meant to mention THAT particular blunder of the global right wing fuck up, are we? Sorry.

On the first day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
Some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the second day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the third day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the forth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the fifth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the sixth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the seventh day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the eighth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the ninth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the tenth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my old lady gave to me,
12 pack of Bud
11 rasslin' tickets
tin of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Red Man
6 cans of Spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 huntin' dawgs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.
.

On the first day of Chrismas... my fundie presnit gave to me
a lie about WMDs

On the second day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
Two Wars in the Middle east
and a lie about WMDs.

On the third day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
Five more years of War
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
Six-hundred pundits spewing,
Five more years of War
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.


On the seventh day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
7 media conglomerates plotting,
Six-hundred pundits spewing,
Five more years of War
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
8 more Soldiers bleeding,
7 media conglomerates plotting,
Six-hundred pundits spewing,
Five more years of War
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
90 years of apologizing,
8 more Soldiers bleeding,
7 media conglomerates plotting,
Six-hundred pundits spewing,
Five more years of War
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.

On the 10th day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
10 Lords Over-Lording,
90 years of apologizing,
8 more Soldiers bleeding,
7 media conglomerates plotting,
Six-hundred pundits spewing,
Five more years of War
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.


On the 11th day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
11 War Horns blowing,
10 Lords Over-Lording,
90 years of apologizing,
8 more Soldiers bleeding,
7 media conglomerates plotting,
Six-hundred pundits spewing,
Five more years of War
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.


On the 12th day of Christmas, my fundie presnit gave to me...
12,000 children dying
11 War Horns blowing,
10 Lords Over-Lording,
90 years of apologizing,
8 more Soldiers bleeding,
7 media conglomerates plotting,
Six-hundred pundits spewing,
50 more years of War
four rabid PNACers,
3 mobile labs,
Two wars in the Middle East
and a lie about WMDs.

On the fifth day of Xmas, my true love gave to me

Five 0 rings
Four calling cards
Three rubber gloves
Two drenched pens
And a cartridge in a bare tree

(with examples provided, of course)

Just don't.

Don't do it.

Bust on SPAM, I mean.