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We really need to define the different stages of redneck, because even some right-wing rednecks are too redneck for our local right-wing rednecks. Here's the story:
A couple of years ago my daughter had a crush on a right-wing redneck boy. He seemed very polite and his mother did too so I gave the relationship my blessings. As it turned out, it was very short-lived, and not all by my doing. My daughter had some apprehension because the father was as right-wing as they come and she didn't know how I would respond to him. Well, it lasted a week because the boy didn't pass the test when he came to visit. My rules were very simple. Hand holding okay, nothing else. I said they could come and watch a movie in the family room, but it only took twenty minutes before they were in a lip lock. If they would go so far this early in the relationship when I was in the next room, I didn't think there was much hope that it would get better in the future. My daughter got a week restriction and I told the boy to call his father to take him home. I met the dad at the door when he came to collect his son. I can't remember what it was he was wearing, but I do remember thinking, "Whee, I dodged a bullet." He looked equally skeptical at me. I remember wearing a tee-shirt that had ethnic coloring.
The two kids never dated again, but mostly because my daughter said she lost interest once she discovered he was a lousy kisser. Of course, she didn't tell me this until months later. They still remained good friends, though, because he was a nice boy, according to her.
Anyway, 8 months ago the family left the area to go back to their home in Tennessee. Hard to believe our Republican county was not conservative enough for them. But now we've heard that they're coming back. Apparently they found Tennessee to be too redneck. Lots of hicks (their words) and they said the final straw was when a student brought a hunting rifle to school. Apparently they do that kind of thing up there.
So, if we had to categorize the different levels of redneck, what would they be? I don't even know where to begin. Who would be considered a liberal redneck these days?
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