You might be a right winger if….

Discovered as a pdf file in a book forum on usenet. No author credited within the file.

You might be a right winger if….

• you firmly believe that the poor folks that got stuck in New Orleans are to blame for their own plight for not having the good sense to have high paying jobs that would have allowed them to purchase cars/SUVs to get out of town and afford hotels in safe areas. (Or having the good sense to be born into money.)

• your head is up Uranus.

• you fail to see Ann Coulter as nothing more than every blonde joke made flesh.

• You believe federal judges MAKE laws.

• you're a "good Christian" but you hate more people than you love.

• if you think Bush, not Cheney, is in charge

• You might be a right wing Republican if you think Bach is beer.

• you think Jesus would support the death penalty, war, environmental destruction, the reduction of rights to women and minorities, and the cruel treatment of some prisoners in Guantanamo Bay.

• the idea that Bush II might be lying about his faith in Christ causes a pain behind your eyes.

• if you think fighting in Iraq (or anywhere else) is like a computer game, and you think that troops should have to complete level one to get their body armor.

• if you think Vietnam vets who supported Kerry should be booed on 4th of July.

• if you think corporate interests are national interests.

• you think Tom Delay has class.

• you think Universal Health Care is bad but Corporate Welfare is good.

• you finally have a news channel you can trust in Fox.

• You believe that bombing Iraq has anything to do with September 11.

• you believe Barbara Bush is a sweet old lady, who wouldn't hurt a fly.
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• you have bumper stickers that read "nuke his ass" next to "I support life."

• you believe less ozone is better for a quicker tan.

• you support the AK-47's becoming legal. "It'll keep them doughnut eating cops on their toes."

• You think Jesus is the same blond haired, blue eyed, white, Aryan featured dude as in the picture on your fridge.

• you think Jesus Christ was a great conservative political philosopher.

• you think acid rain helps cleans your driveway.

• you believe "smok 'em out" is written in foreign policy.

• your rifle gets more fondling than your wife.

• you think no child left behind is a new bus service to the KKK rally.

• you use "uh" as the seventh vowel.

• you think Bush is the closest thing to God because of his ability to cause an apocalypse.

• you think David Duke is from Hazzard County.

• you are encouraged by Bush's C+ average scholastic history. "Gee, even you could rule the free world."

• you think 'Hail to the Chief' would sound better being played on a steel guitar.

• you believe Jesse Jackson is the anti-Christ and Jerry Falwell should be referred to "his popeness."

• you are certain Bush has created jobs because you have three jobs to pay for your heat bill.

• you think "Dueling Banjos" should be the prelude for every press conference.

• you thought "need some wood" in the debates promoted Viagra.

• you believe the Iraqi elections will be fair just like ours.

• you are against gay marriage but have no problem marrying your cousin.

• you believe it was Clinton's fault for leaving to much money to play with.

• you think Colin Powell should be replaced by Cooter.

• you think Martin Luther King is the guy who built your street.

• you blame Clinton for having jobs to lose.

• you hate Michael Moore so much your thermostats read in Celsius.

• you think mercury in your fish adds flavor.

• you think the Republican Party likes you for more than your money.

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Okay, it may be just a little dated. Feel free to update it with new ones!

you think 401K is your mom's bra size