Christmas Gifts and Obligation - OR - It's not all about money & buying.

I'm keeping a list of gifts I've received from co-workers and clients so that I don't forget to thank anyone formally. So far I have six thank-yous to write. Knowing the people I work with, there will be many more. I appreciate everyone's kindness tremendously. I do not need gifts, and what's more, I am always surprised by them.

I am giving a select few a Christmas card with a personal note and containing a print of one of my best sunset photos. My bosses are getting the same print framed.

My family has already decided to do some christmas-style gift giving in May -- besides Christmas, we ALL (eight of us) of our birthdays are within three months of Christmas. And we are all flat broke. I'm sending them all some photo prints and I'm sure they'll send something little in kind. I'm sending my Dad & uncle the same photo my co-workers are getting (sans frames). I'm also mailing a few photo-cards to several friends back home.

That's it.

I do not feel obliged to give lots of gifts. I do not feel the stress of Christmas shopping or wrapping or schlepping bags full of presents. I don't worry, "is she going to leave for the holiday before I have time to get her gift together and take it to work?"

I just don't feel that obligation. If someone is put out because I didn't spend money on him/her, that is his/her problem. Not mine.

What are your thoughts? Do you feel obliged? Do you act on that feeling? If you don't feel obliged, how do you react if/when you get attitude?

Christmas is so disgusting. What would happen if everyone in this country reduced their Christmas gift spending by 50%? Don't tell me "it'll never happen" -- I know that. Use your imagination instead of your cynicism. What would happen?

Since our fathers have passed away we only give gifts to our mothers. We haven't exchanged gifts with
each other in the 18 yrs we've been married. We would rather give little things throughout the
year when we see that the other needs something. Sometimes at the end of the year we purchase a
larger item like a DVD or digital camera and call it the house gift. That way we get what we want and
need and don't waste money on junk. It also means we don't have to deal with the crazy crowds at the
mall and there is nothing to exchange after the holiday.
We use the time we save to decorate and enjoy each others company in a relaxed way.
And the money we save we donate to a worthy charity. To anyone donating money this year Habitat
for Humanity and America's Second Harvest can always use the help.

I love the music and the festivities of the holidays,but the gift giving is leaving me increasingly cold. Frankly, I have gotten a little overwhelmed by "stuff" - there just isn't that much more that I need or want, and what I do need, I can easily get for myself.

I'm an only kid and my parents have both passed on, but over the years I got caught up in a gift exchange with cousins - making myself crazy trying to buy presents for people I only saw a couple of times a year. I now send cards and letters instead and I feel a lot better for it. In my husbands family we buy presents for the younger nieces and nephews and the adults draw names.

The last few years, instead of buying each other gifts, my husband and I have gone out shopping together at Christmas to get ourselves a little treat - something for the house that both of us can enjoy. If we get something personal, we have a chance to make sure it's the right size, color, brand, etc. We've been together for 21 years and work together in our own business 24/7, so it's hard to surprise each other. Plus, I don't have that much of a sense of mine and his, everything is ours together, so how can I give him anything?

I think it helps to look at the holiday season like a big buffet - you can't eat everything on the table, you aren't intended to anyway, and you would just make yourself sick if you did. Enjoy the parts of the season that have meaning for you and just let go of the rest. Every once in a while all the cosmic forces align to make a spectacularly wonderful Christmas, but most of the time, it's a pleasant day off of work, a chance to touch bases with friends and family, eat (too much) good food, worship (or not), and enjoy yourself. No more, no less - and that's just fine.