Don't A Lot Of People Commit Suicide On Christmas Eve?

I think I read that somewhere once. Coincidently, our place is made up of what used to be 3 smaller homestead/farms. I was told that the old boy who lived in a house that was still partially standing when we bought the place (way back in the woods) had killed himself on Christmas Eve. I found his gravestone a couple of years later and sure enough!

wonder what records will be broken this year? :-(

and failed. He's bipolar. He wasn't taking the right amount of medicine. It was a miracle & a blessing that he survived & is doing so much better. But with these disorders, it's a constant challenge.

I suppose something in addition to a med imbalance might trigger an episode of depression. Did he do or say anything after the event to indicate to you that was the case or was it entirely meds? I know next to nothing about this but I'm interested.

He was 21 & he wasn't living alone or anything, he lives with us, but he had been very withdrawn over a period of weeks & we were in denial & not acknowledging how things were going. But he surprised the hell out of us, nevertheless, when he shot himself in the mouth - and survived - broke a couple of teeth but no scars, no brain damage and NO MORE GUNS IN THE HOUSE EVER AGAIN.

On edit: my father tried suicide and both my grandfathers appear to have been bipolar...

This shit runs in families.

depression and bipolar disorder run in my family too, and it is such a horrible experience for everyone- the person afflicted, and the family members who have to go through such heartwrenching times.

My heart cries whenever I hear of a suicide, or attempted suicide. I know the pain involved, and the terrible strain.

love & support to you, your family and your son, and I hope he continues to be better.

For one thing, it is the darkest time of the year, and darkness can effect moods, increase depression, etc, etc. If it has been cold for a while and people haven't been out, SAD (Seasonal disorder-can't recall what the A stands for) can kick in. Couple that with being alone/having no money/being far away from loved ones at a time that stresses family and presents and you can come up with a rather toxic recipe that can result in suicide.

I know it well.

My utility bills combined tend to be higher in the winter than the summer because I keep these incredibly bright lights burning in my home all the time.

I have Seasonal I Can't Remember Things Disorder but it happens every season!

BTW, my doctor said that eating fish and taking Vitamin D will help-read an article in JAMA about Vitamin D at our last Healing Night discussion. She has SAD herself, so she knows of what she speaks.

I do vitamins pretty religiously in the winter especially, so I'd forgotten which one it was.

If I'm not mistaken, that's the one we get from sunlight, and we can be negatively affected even in the summer if we avoid the sunlight altogether.

according to what she read, if you can get 20 minutes of sunlight a day in the winter, with only face and hands exposed, it can really help.

full spectrum lights are definately the way to go!

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Luckily, I don't own a car, so it forces me to go outside or walk to the store. It helps alot, even when the weather is crappy. Luckily we get more rain than snow. :)

I'm sort of a voracious reader on the subject because it really screws me up if I get lazy about taking care of it, and I'm always looking for ways to help it. One of these studies said that a a half-hour to an hour walk, even in the winter sun, was the equivalent of 2-3 hours under the artificial light conditions that are often suggested. It's not so much the weather as lack of sunlight. The article suggested that getting out and playing the snow, while it is snowing even, for even a little while was far more effective in treating the symptoms with artificial light.

I'm big on using my outdoor grill in the winter and have been known to do so in the middle of a sleet storm. People think I'm nuts, but it makes me happier.

She told me the same thing several years ago. Apparently it makes a huge difference to people with SAD--I'd asked her about a friend who was worried about moving to a dreary climate and she said to tell her to get out of the house and go for a 20-30 minute walk every day, even on gray days.

Like a vegtable.

I've fallen for the fluerescent sun-spectrum blue bulbs, they give
me that "daylight" feeling at 59 degrees north. Otherwise, i feel
like i've a black hole opened inside of me that only hibernation
can cure.

Lights indeed. I need to find some 2700 angstrom red edison screw 240v
bulbs, to give that "sunset" light as well, but i've really become a
believer that a militant installer of light fixtures can overcome SAD. :-)

I feel like a complete freak sometimes. To outsiders, I appear to have a lightbulb fetish. You are completely speaking my language!

It's comforting not to feel alone with this craziness. I think this thread has helped more than the lights do. :-)

:toast:

Now, I must rumba!

a special light- it's like a big box with flourescent lightbulbs, only different somehow. It really helped, but I couldn't take it with me when I moved across the country.

PS If I may ask, do you tend to gain weight along with the SAD? I sure do. :(

I crave sugar. During the summer I have basically no interest in sweets, but sometime after the equinox, I develop a growing hunger for chocolate and sugar of all varities. My biggest weakness is cookie dough. When I get really down, a nice long tube of pre-made cookie dough really hits the spot. That combined with the bouts of lethargy mean at least 10 pounds by spring. And to make it more interesting, over the last several years, it's been 10 pounds on, 5 pounds off, for a wonderful net gain. :-)

(apart from the fact that I am trying to recover from bulimia...which is another barrel of laughs let me tell you)
I crave meat (and I don't really even like meat!) sometimes, sometimes dairy, and sometimes I just want to eat minestrone soup all day long. It's so bizarre. I'm not a huge fan of sweets but I totally know what you mean about the cravings. I just wish my brain would be normal for once!

I get serious dairy cravings as well, not so much meat because I eat it fairly regularly anyway. But cheese and milk ... sometimes I'll wake up and feel my body DEMANDING a glass of milk, which I don't even have in the house. It's not satisfied until I get one either, and I can down a whole quart of it without stopping. Feels like I'm dying of thirst and milk is the only thing that will satisfy it.

This is kinda off the main subject, but I have, during my obsessive-compulsive readings on these things, come across suggestions that this can be genetic. Believe it or don't, people who put on weight in the winter are the "survivors," i.e. the "naturally selected" who made it through the harsh winters of Europe and Asia. Not knowing your ancestral background, I realize that's presumptuous, but it's something to consider. With some people, it's a so-called genetic memory. Pile on the calories to make it through the periods when food is not available.

I try to get a multivitamin and eat fish (my favorite protein) but fish is expensive!
I totally believe it about people gaining weight to make it through the winter- back when we were cavepeople, we had to do that! And about genetics- my genetics are so weird. My mother has never had an eating disorder, is 5'5", and naturally weighs 100 lbs (at 61 years of age). My father is very obese. I think my body just got all the weird leftovers and was like "What can we do with this?"
I'm half Norwegian (cold climate, makes sense), a quarter Irish, and a quarter German Jewish.

Oh yeah...I drink milk right out of the carton sometimes, I crave it so much. I totally understand about the thirst JUST for milk!

The "weight gain" gene is dominant, so if one of your parents has it, you are likely to have it. I get it from my mother. My father was a rail. Of course I got the lovely predisposition to addiction gene from him, which is just great. I'm amazed I've remained as thin as I have.

My daughter probably feels like you. She got all the "best" parts from her mother and me, and they mixed together in weird ways. So, one day she's lethargic and brooding like I can me, and the next she's completely manic like her mother. Of course she did get some good stuff. She got my artistic tendencies and a proficiency in obscure math from her mom. I keep telling her she needs to be a theoretical physicicst: imagination plus an ability to grasp the hard data as well.

Anyway ... I think I need a piece of cheese. :-)

For about half of december, the only food i've used
is 1 steak cooked well done, seared excellently. And
my 1 steak a day diet has worked wonders. I never thought
of it as "compulsive".

I'm much more likely to "fast" in the winter, even if food is
around, my body is not as tuned to the sensory world as in the
summer, like i myself am like the earth a little bit, and
flowers and blossoms of spring allow me to see and feel the
light, but in the winter, those blossoms are but buds, unmanifest.

I have SAD and the only times I've ever seriously contemplated suicide (I was in high school) was about a week before Xmas. Landed me in a mental ward for observation.

My worst time was my last semester of college, around the first part of December, right before finals, while working 40 hours a week. I rarely saw daylight at all, and combined with the stress, I just snapped.

Had myself a liter of vodka and a few valiums I'd dug up somewhere, which was only the beginning. I slept for three days, woke up and had missed two finals, had been fired, and the electricity had been cut off due to complete oversight on my part. It was not a good day, and were it not for a very good friend who basically broke down my door and sat on me, it would have been my last. Got most of it worked out, left the job in the dust because it sucked anyway, moved away, and started over. That took several months, and I swear what kept me sane through the rest of the winter was a video game I purchased with The Last Money I'll Ever Spend that got me addicted. Two months later, it was Spring. My savings was gone, but I felt better.

And after that I got professional help, so it's never come close to going there again.

Sheesh...I probably shouldn't post this, but I will anyway in the off-chance someone lurking needs to know you can hit bottom and come back up because I definitely have. I'm feeling good today. It's been a conscious effort to make myself feel good, and even though I'm alone tonight, except for my best friend Pete (the cat who owns this house and lets me stay here :-)), I've got good movies, good food, a working heater, and friends out there in the world to type at and share with. That's definitely something.

I never really tried to kill myself, but I was cutting and doing stuff like that, and then I ran away from home in the middle of December, having no coat, no hat, no gloves (this was Minnesota), no idea where I was going...I showed up at my friend's house and my parents had already called hers and the cops were also called...they took me down to the juvie mental ward right then and there, because my mom thought I was going to kill myself. Really, I just had to get OUT. It was an awful time in my life- my high school was hellish.

I wasn't really trying to do so at the time either, at least not consciously. I, too, wanted to get OUT, to have all this crap piling on me stop and go away. I just wanted my brain to turn off for awhile and let me relax.

So, hey, do try to have an exceptional day today, whether it's a holiday or not. And know you helped this dumb Okie with his quest to stay happy the entire evening.

:hi:

thanks. Have a good day to you as well. You're a sweetie:)

was one of those doctors who was genuinely nice and caring of his patients. Although no one wanted to talk about it, we finally found out that he was bi-polar and his fiance had broken up with him just before then.

It seems that these kinds of set-backs get amplified in hurt over the holidays. So many people, who are depressed or lonely, can cope ordinarily but the holidays really drive these hurts home so the suicide rate goes up.

I'm just wondering.

the holidays are one of the most common times of the year for suicides.

I'm trying to find some links, but they're eluding me. But it's definitely a myth. Just like spousal abuse and sewer malfunctions on super bowl sunday.

quote........
Seasons
Despite a commonly held myth that the Christmas season has the highest suicide rate of all the seasons, studies have proven that across North America, suicide rates are actually lower at that time of year.14 Studies suggest that while the holidays can bring up some very difficult emotions, they also tend to evoke feelings of familial bonds and these feelings may act as a buffer against suicide.15

It is important to note, however, that while suicide rates do not increase over the holiday season, depression rates do. Numerous studies, as well as anecdotal evidence from the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario and the Toronto Distress Centre, confirm that both the number and severity of calls by depressed persons increases every year through November and December, returning to normal volume towards the end of January.

Late July and August have the highest suicide rate out of all the months of the year. Some studies suggest that the increase is due to the seasonal change and that this period is one that often brings about changes in personal situations as well. It is suggested that all these elements of change – whether there are dramatic changes happening in someone's life, or whether someone feels defeated because their situation seems to never change – can lead people to suicide. A number of studies indicate that an especially high-risk time for vulnerable teens is when they go back to school. Whatever the reason, the rates are so high at this time of year that the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health refers to August as the 'suicide season.'16

Last updated: February 2003

end quote......
http://www.ontario.cmha.ca/content/about_mental_illness/suicide.asp?cID=3965#section3971

as a crumudgeon.

It was years ago and still an open wound in the family.

My good friend works in a women's clothing store. Yesterday, a lady came in looking for a dress for her daughter. Her grandson had committed suicide the night before. He called his mom on the phone and shot himself while she was listening! My friend said the grandmother was just a mess, she was afraid to let her get in her car and drive. So they had her stay in the store for awhile and calm down before she left. The grandmother kept saying "At Christmas, why at Christmas?". I just had chills while she was telling me this.

she was laid off and couldn't afford to go on a trip to Brazil with the family as planned.

They went anyway. They also had the car cleaned and they sold it. It's just unfathomable.

The story is just heartwrenching. I think my mum in law is somewhat autistic but also extremely smart and high functioning so no red flags where ever raised. Another undiagnosed casualty but -- in this case, her kids were the real casualties. Doug still can't even look at pictures of his sister and it's been 20 years. :(

Well, we take small steps and keep the faith. My mother in law actually sent me flowers on my birthday this year, and that was a big step for her in relating, if you know what I mean.

We do the possible. And this year, it's possible to lend a hand to people who could use a little boost over this rocky patch called The Holidays.

:hug:

Have a wonderful holiday :hug:

Me, I just put my new iPod away where it couldn't hurt anyone.

And, AMC is running John Wayne all night.

:toast: to you and a :hug:

But we are keeping our fingers crossed. My kid just downloaded a Democracy Now show for me to watch on his iPod. So I can see for myself if it works :)

Have a great evening. :toast:

are in pain...but being on the phone with his mom and doing that is so cruel. Sounds like anger too.

Suicide is so hard for those left behind. There is grief and guilt (for what they might have ever done/said wrong. for what they didn't do/say/see) and sometimes anger, which they then feel guilty about.

Some people who commit suicide think others will be better off without them, some think others will be sorry. Many don't exactly want to die, they just don't want to live with the pain.

So much pain all the way around in it.

overall.
I apologize if I offended.

It's just pretty real for a lot of people right now.

peace, WJMS

Beth

/damn typin'

when you would rather be home with your babies.

This mom will never, NEVER, discount duly double, triple earned grumpiness.

:hug:

...and give them hope, friendship, sanctuary.

It won't hurt to bear that in mind the next time we're tempted to make some smart-assed remark to a stranger. For all we know, that might be the last straw.

But, there is no such thing as the "last straw" where suicide is concerned. Impulsive suicides more often than not turn out to be accidents, perhaps suicidal gestures that weren't properly - pardon the pun - executed.

Most suicides are carefully thought out and planned. It's hard for some people to believe or to accept this, but I think that's because it's hard for most people to contemplate the perfectly sane notion of ending one's life as one wishes.

...I think some contemplate suicide, plan it out, but do not attempt it until they hit a moment of true despair, sparked by an incident that triggers the act.

It isn't just isolation. I think it is more a sense of helpless, hopeless failure. The feeling that one will -never- be happy again, -never- have a purpose in life, -never- be loved, held or cared for.

The "politics of inclusion" is more than a catchy phrase. It's a fundamental philosophy that all of us are valued and valuable as more than just economic units.

There's nothing in the "pursuit of happiness" that says we can't help others who are having a tough time with it.

Reaching out may not make the difference for some, but I believe it does make a difference for many.

So may Santa be kind to you this year, and be as good to yourself as you would with others. I expect to see everyone here come Monday.

Now it's time for me to tuck my little one into bed. He has a big day, tomorrow. :-)

Merry Christmas, OldLeftieLawyer.

:toast:

In fact, the suicide rate goes up after the holidays. The thinking is that people contemplating suicide don't want to screw up the holiday for their loved ones.

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/suicide.asp

they themselves are in overwhelming pain. We're really a piece of work, us human beans.

.......is man and woman," eh?

Merry Christmas, sfex ..............

LOL!

Merry Christmas, OLL. Thanks for the wunnerfulness o yerself.

:hi:

That's when the bills come in.

There is a check in thread in the Mental Health Support Group. Use it if you want to.

:hi:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=276&topic_id=3065&mesg_id=3065

he was sixteen. The holidays are a difficult time of the year for me, expecially since I've been sober. Reality sucks...

The season especially sucks for me, because as soon as Xmas packages were opened, the contents got packed again because my folks always moved this time of year. By mid January, we were in the next city, the next house or apartment, and I was in the next school and had already figured out the kids I'd be friends with for the next 6 months.

So once "moving season" is over, I tend to pull out of it.

Haven't been thinking about it much lately, but I think John Bradshaw's "inner child" theories make a lot of sense - sounds like the kid in you needs annual reassurance that you'll be staying put. Sorry for the dimestore psychology!

and the memories that come regardless of how you try to keep them at bay. It's a very sensual thing...by which I mean smell, sound, sight...which trigger things better left alone.

I just broke up with my boyfriend; my office just moved; my assistant is on vacation until after the first of the year

add all that on top of the horrible negative energy being put out by people at this time of the year, and it's a wonder that I can get out of bed in the mornings

if I had my way, I'd be hiding in bed with the blankets pulled up over my head until January 2

How sad.

One of the questions was is it true the suicide rate is higher during the holidays and the answer was false.

But I have always heard it goes up this time of year.

anyway that is what a paramedic told me. My mother died two days after Christmas and the paramedic said we were lucky because most often people who are very ill do not make it to Christmas but die a few days before.:-( My mother loved Christmas so I think it was just her determination and strength of will to last till afterward.

please read Redstone's letter here:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4484208

:hug:

I got an E-Mail from a guy we know who is divorced. He lives for his daughter but she went away to school back in the fall. Poor bastard doesn't have a dime and never will - but will always want one real bad. I doubt very seriously he'll punch the old button tonight though, poor bastard owes too much money to kill himself.

conversation and could use the message Redstone is sending.So sorry for your acquaintance.
Best wishes.:hi:

Redstone's thread is wonderful. I read it straight through twice last night.

And, there is a check in thread in the Mental Health Support Group, too.

:hug:

I don't usually frequent the Lounge, but that's one of the most moving things I've ever read anywhere. I had tears in my eyes at the end of it.

from March through mid April. This makes a lot of sense. First, the people with light based seasonal depression are starting to have a little more energy, but they still feel like shit. The people with holiday related depressions expect to feel better by March. If they don't, that's it, they end it.

This season basically sucks for everybody who didn't come from a cornflakes family. I'm glad to see that the APA is finally recognizing that instead of blaming the victims and telling them to ACT cheerful.

I would think perhaps because the OUTSIDE now physically conflicts with one's INSIDE's -- but that's just my take on it.

My father died on December 18 and many years later, my mother died on Christmas eve. This year is even harder as my brother, who was only 52, died on July 30th of this year, but his birthday was December 26th.

I always worked when I was younger on the winter holidays and let those with families have the day off. After all, I felt that they had a better chance of enjoying the day completely and I would have such a roller coaster of a day, it just made it easier to keep myself busy.

There were 30 years in between my father's death and my mothers. We weren't a close family, scattered from coast to coast and places in between. My celebrations got some better when I had my first child, as it gave me a new outlook on the holiday season and something to celebrate again. My siblings and I were all together when my mother died 5 years ago (7 days after I signed my divorce papers too!) so it made things a bit easier to take, as well as still having my kids trying to create some level of "normal" for them, lest they suffer the same fate as I have where the winter holidays are concerned.

This year is very hard for me though. My oldest is now 18, my youngest 13. Money is very tight this year (spend $600 for oil in the month of December when I usually spend around $250)so I couldn't do as much for them as I might have liked. Couple that with the heartbreaking realization that my dear brother (my closet family member both in age and emotional ties) will not be here this year. I am having a bit of trouble drumming up the spirit this year for sure.

I am hoping to find some holiday spirite by present time for the kids in the morning.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=5683888&mesg_id=5683888


:hug:

..just wanted to give you a long-distance hug:hug:
This is my first christmas in 21 years without the christmas eve mad rush(my first christmas since my divorce-the boys are at their dad's).I didn't appreciate the joy I received from their presence on christmas morning-just hug them,pop the popcorn,and do the things we did as kids....trust me,even the big kids aren't too big for that.They'll remember the funny games and stuff more than the fleeting gifts they got....sending you a little love and strength.Merry Christmas.

The first christmas after your divorce and you don't have your kids with you? :hug: I wouldn't make it through the morning without them .. not if I observed the holiday at all. As it is, it is the mad rush .. have to cook and feed them dinner for lunch because they get 5 hours with their dad on Christmas.

My 13 year old is very much as you describe. She savors every moment. She keeps me going, for sure.

Here's hoping that you have a wonderful Christmas. Pamper yourself, sleep in if you can, and pm me if you need someone to talk to tomorrow.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

:hug:

I worked on a suicide prevention hotline for a couple of years. I did a 12 hour Christmas Eve shift to answer that question. This was 30 years ago, but we got the normal six calls that night. That was average for a night shift. Mostly loneliness is what bothers people.
Christmas Eve is supposed to be special, with family. For some folks, it isn't. Be with the ones you love and love the ones you're with.

And the media promotes this as a holiday in which "everyone" will get together with family and be joyful. Lots of people end up feeling left out.

one of my husband's co-workers just killed herself, no one knows why, it's v. upsetting

ass. :P

but "ass"

now *that's* funny!

:P ;-)

Mine isn't ;)

I've got that southwestern no-ass sort of thing going, which is pretty funny, I guess.

to discuss the relative merits of our individual asses?

Why commit suicide when you can stick around and read the posts of yutzes like us?

I think I'm going back to the Lounge :P

:)

if a person is in pain, it seems to really be escalated this time of the year, that is for sure.

every year we mourn an uncle who died a few days after Christmas in a hideous car wreck. A death at this time of year really changes things. When it's suicide, it has to be even more tough to bear.

Peace to you, seabeyond

:hug: My mother died on Christmas Eve. She knew that she was going to die, as she spend the day before telling the nursing staff how great they had been to her, to enjoy their holidays and that she would not be there when they returned. It made her passing no less difficult, but I can only imagine how difficult your mom's passing must have been for you.

Suicide is a terrible thing for those that are left behind. It tends to leave US with so many what if's and if I had only's ....

My thoughts are with you seabeyond. Peace be with you today.

i am at peace. there are the what if's and once a person can get beyond the what if's there is the peace. it was really hard the first couple years. we moved into her house and she is just everywhere all the time. very comforting. i think it must be hardest on my father when he comes here for all our celebrations, hard, but knowing this place is where all the family still comes to celebrate

every spring her flowers still come up.

suicide is a tricky thing. my father talked about it this morning with the football son. he wont admit my mom did. he told us a story. i went to the morgue to find out. it has taught me a lot of huge lessons in my life. allows me to truly be empathitic to others pain. how fragile we can be. the blessing, my mom and i were so close there is not the..... i didnt say. we said everything and often

happy holidays to you all. and thanks

a few years back on Christmas. My friend had lost her mother earlier in the year along with several other losses in her life, that night she went up to the cliffs above the ocean and took a bunch of pills. Luckily someone saw her laying there and called an ambulance and her life was saved in time. Not so long afterward she met someone and they ended up married, so inspite of what she thought when she tried to kill herself life did get better and was worth living.