Fox News Has a New Slogan: We Watch the Hen House So You Don't Have To

Dear Fox News Viewers,

Since the launch of our network our programming has been guided by the slogan “Fair and Balanced”. Unlike other networks we give conservative and fascist viewpoints equal airtime so that you can see both sides of the story. We employ such unbiased reporters such as Sean Hannity, Brit Hume, Oliver North, Linda Vester, and of course the man who helped make ethnic restaurant owners everywhere rich by making falafel popular again; Bill O’Reilly. Not only do we have these great personalities but we also have exclusive coverage on issues related to freedom with our guest commentator Adolph Hitler, and coverage of military issues by our war correspondent General Jesus Christ. In order to please our less civilized viewers we have hired flaming leftist Greta Von Sustern to cover the issues that are most important to people on the left end of the political spectrum, issues such as the Bennifer romance and Michael Jackson’s legal troubles. This type of coverage has made us respected by political and business leaders across America, and really has made us live up to our promise of being fair and balanced. But our “fair and balanced” slogan does not cover the extent of the public service we provide and that is why we are introducing our new slogan.

We Watch the Hen House So You Don’t Have To.

There is no need worrying your pretty little head over the fate of the chickens living in the hen house, Fox will report all the good news that is coming out of the chicken coup. The liberal media will focus on all the dead chickens, but at Fox we like to focus on the positive. The good things that are happening like…ahh…well just trust us things are going just fine. So have a glass of Kool-Aid sit back and wait for the rapture to come, and we here at Fox will keep you informed about the things our corporate sponsors want you to know.

Sincerely,
Rupert Murdoch

because WE DON'T WANT YOU TO."

:rofl:
rocknation