I'm in a Kipling mood, ask me anything.

I went to the public house
To have a pint of beer
And the publican, he up and says
"We don't serve you redcoats here!"
And all the girls, they laughed
And giggled fit to die
And out in the street I find myself
And to myself, says I
"It's Tommy this and Tommy That
And Tommy: Go away,
But it's thank you, Mr. Atkins
When the band begins to play!"

I went to the theatre
For a show to see
They gave a drunk civilian room
But hadn't none for me!
They sent me to the comedy
Or 'round the music halls
But when it comes to fighting, LORD!
They shove us in the stalls!
And it's Tommy this and Tommy that
And "Tommy: fall behind!"
But it's "Please walk in front, sir!"
When there's trouble in the wind!

Making mock of uniforms
That gaurd you while you sleep
Is cheaper than these uniforms
(And they're starvation cheap!)
And hustling drunken soldiers
When they are going 'round a bit
Is ten times better business
Than parading in full kit!
And it's Tommy this, and Tommy that
And "Tommy, how's your soul?"
But its the "Thin Red Line of Heroes!"
When the drums begin to roll!

Now we aren't no 'thin red heroes',
But we aren't no blackgaurds too
We're normal men in barracks
Most remarkably like you
And if sometimes our behavior
Isn't all your fancy paints
Well, single men in barracks
Don't grow up into plaster saints!
And it's Tommy this, and Tommy that
And "Tommy, stand aside!"
But it's "Special train for Atkins!"
When the troopship's on the tide!

Now you speak of better food for us
And better housing and all
But you could keep your extra rations
If you'd treat us rational
Don't mess about with the cookroom slop
But prove it to our face
That our country's uniform
Is not the soldierman's disgrace
And it's Tommy this, and Tommy that
And Tommy most anything you please
But Tommy, he's no bloody fool.
You bet that Tommy sees.

:-)

.

huh?

When you're quartered safe out here
And sent to penny fights and aldershot it
But when it comes to slaughter
You'll do your work for water
And you'll lick the bloomin boots of him who's got it
Now in India's sunny clime
Where I used to spend my time
A serving of her majesty, the Queen
Of all that blackfaced crew
The bravest man I knew
Was the regimental bhisti, Gunga Din

The uniform he wore
Was nothing much before
And a little less than half of that, behind!
For a piece of twisty rag
And a goatskin water bag
Seemed to be all the clothes that he could find!

not bad, from memory

and we would test that claim how exactly.....? hmmmmm?

let's have the last verse---without googling it!

(Hey, I was nice to ya when you were floating in the ME on that damn boat. You are shoreside now sonny and you'll get no more breaks from me!)

If I could remember the whole thing, that would prove that I had googled it.

"So I'll meet him later on
In the place where he has gone
Where it is always double drill and no canteen
He'll be squating on the coals
Giving drink to poor damned souls
And I'll get a swig in Hell from Gunga Din!
For it's Din, Din, Din
Lazurasian(?) leathered Gunga Din
Though I belted you and flayed you
By the living Gawd that made you
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!

Isn't he the one who wrote the female of the species is more deadly than the male? I used to have a copy of that somewhere... in this mess.

One of my favorites...