Daughter invited to join fundie orchestra

I've been waiting for this shoe to drop, considering where we live. Now that my dd, 17, works at McDonald's and can't go to our own downtown liberal church any more, she's met up with a fundie and been invited to join their new life orchestra. The poor kid is so trusting. She's all excited about going to San Antonio, Parris Island to entertain th' troops, Germany to mission to more troops. No money, no problem -- they'll pay for it. No cello in the summer (she rents from her school), no problem -- they'll pay for it. Oh, and the musicians don't HAVE to be church members. One out of, say, 45, isn't.

The best yet: every summer they go on out to New Mexico to win Navajo sinners' hearts for Christ.

Am I wrong to be sickened by this and forbid it? They meet four times a week, so I'm sure it would be hard for her to resist their conversion efforts.

forbid it forbid it forbid it. It's a huge world out there just waiting for her, don't allow these people to shrink it down.

if you think it will be a problem or you dont want her under the influence and/or in the care of fundies, forbid it.

speaking as an orchestra member (school system, not church) i know how conservative it can be... theirs like 4 liberals in mine out of about 80. ive never really had a problem with fundies (quite a few of em in this orchestra) or right wingers... cause... well, they dont necessarily have facts.

if she gets into fights over political things, you may want to keep her back for her sake... with her being undoubtedly a minority in that place she may get in a bunch of fights and somone might get hurt or she might be brainwashed by them if shes not set in the left.

if you do allow her to go, just make sure she is well armed with facts. fundies cant stand facts. wins my battles all the time.

-LK

Give it a shot.

I don't think it's bad that you feel threatened, because it's a belief system that you're uncomfortable with. But it won't hurt her, and banning it will only make her more eager to do it and less eager to believe what you believe.

Let her give it a go. :)

if you know she's strong willed and faced down cultists before, then cool, let her enjoy herself. if she's brand new to the world (aka naive), easily persuaded, non-vocal, etc. then forbid it.

if she's strong-willed enough to resist your absolutely firm warning and prohibition she probably has a strong enough personality to resist their machinations. if she's weak enough to obey your warning she's not strong enough to survive the indoctrinations of a cultist group. it's an issue of control for them; read up on cults, their offerings are textbook. befriending, all expenses paid (hence favors causing sense of indebtedness), and isolation are completely huge warning signs in my eyes.

if you love your daughter you'll be willing to be unpopular, even in her eyes, to save her.

I grew up fundy and believe me, the damage is very real. If they get a hold of your daughter, they can really hurt her. However, if she's strong enough to tell them to go fuck themselves when they tell her she'll go to hell without Jebus, they might reject her outright.

It's up to you and her to decide whether or not to expose her to fundamentalism.

Still, she'll be exposed to a very depraved way of thinking. I would suggest you read Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell to understand fundamentalist Christianity and just how severely it can hurt those it enslaves. That way you'll know exactly what you're up against.

We both love to read; I'll order it for us.


I really need to get dd to sign up for this forum. I seem to post more about things she wants to know than I do for myself.

The first half of the book is a pretty accurate description of everything fundamentalism did to my psyche. You'll have to decide whether or not you want your daughter exposed to their manipulations (which are discussed in the book).

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

If she keeps hanging out at the barber shop, sooner or later she's gonna get a haircut!

My daughter's very leftist, but she craves more religious experience than I have provided. I was afraid that she would eventually be attracted to a "friendly" church with lots of younger members.

Now the inviter has changed her story a bit: The instrument will be $800, but the orchestra director will cosign the loan. The trip to Germany is only about $800 for airfare and hotel, and the churches in Germany will "probably" provide all of the food. What happened to free??

I think she's getting a little suspicious.

...definitely keep her away from the fundies. Try a more liberal church. Some Lutheran and Episcopalian churches are more open-minded and don't rely so much on dogma.

Check out this site: http://www.liberalslikechrist.org/index.htm

I'd suggest a heart to heart talk about this. She's 17, and old enough to understand what your reservations are about such things, and it will help you understand how you can help her fulfill her spiritual needs without having to worry that she'll get suckered into some fundy cult.

Forbidding her participation is not a good idea, in my opinion. It'd be better to warn her of what she might be expected to encounter, and express your concern for her emotional well-being among people who are renowned for brainwashing others into joining their cult.

Now they're talking about legally and financially binding you to their church?

Spend the money renting her an instrument or finding her another group to work with. Offer her private lessons.

The price of this musical opportunity is awfully high.

Meanwhile, seek out churches that work better for you, or embark on a spiritual quest with your daughter, on your own. Lots of people here will have ideas.

My public school had a select singing choir that I was a member. Unfortunately the group was filled with fundies, some who thought I was the Spawn of Satan doomed to hell because I listened to Led Zeppelin.

Because I enjoyed singing so much and I was strong in my faith (I was very progressive even back then for a Christian), I felt very comfortable in that group despite the Christian idiots trying to "save" me.

But that group is way too much. It breaks my heart that she won't be able to enjoy playing the music, but I'm sure there are other groups in the area that she can join up with.

to your liberal downtown church, maybe she can talk to her manager about changing her work schedule, or at least getting an occasional Sunday morning off.

Also, now that the fundie group is starting to talk about financial obligations, you have a perfect opportunity to say no.