How do you deal with the Republicans and fundies in your life?

Seriously.

For those of you who live in a heavily Rethug area or a bible belt area, how do you manage? I keep waffling between feeling sorry for these people and wanting to smack the shit out of them. This includes family, friends and most people I encounter. Ugh. I still wanna move.

BeHereNow, will you take me to NZ with you?

What's a productive way to deal with the anger? I just can't seem to get it out of my system because I have to deal with gullibility and narrow-mindedness on a day-to-day basis.

I ask them how they feel, and never tell them about my political beliefs or viewpoints unless they ask me.

I almost never argue with them, and when I do, I do it politely.

And most of all, I expect it. When you expect them to say "hail Bush!," it doesn't hurt nearly as much.

A few months ago, I was shocked when a "nice" fundy tried to proselytize me, convince me that evolution wasn't true, told me I had no hope without Jesus...blah, blah, blah. He wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise.

I expected him to keep a promise that he wouldn't try to proselytize me. When he broke this promise, it shattered an idea I was trying to develop. I was beginning to think that not all fundies are complete asshats. I'm in the process of re-evaluating. Maybe I was right the first time. Maybe all fundies really are complete asshats.

Part of me doesn't want to think that, to lump an entire group of people in the "asshat" category. I still rather like this person and respect him on a musical level and even on a personal level when he isn't wigging out about religion. I don't trust him not to proselytize, though. And that seriously triggers me, having been raked over by fundamentalism for most of my life.

I want to find a way I can live with the fundies without being triggered every time they decide I need to be converted, or need to be exorcised, or should vote for George W. Bush, etc. (I'm not kidding about the exorcism, either. I wish I were.)

I'm a fundie. :)

;)

Most, I stay silent around people I know cannot be moved and wait for them to say or do something I know I can use against them. It's the equivalent of a mental slapping the shit out of them.

For example, I have a cousin who recently lost her job. She's having a horrible time trying to find another one. She has been offered jobs, but at a much lower salary than what she was making. After experiencing her go on a tirade one day about her state of affairs and listening to other family members express sympathy, I picked my moment. I joined in, ticking off all the bad things government had done that have made her situation worse. After I got her agreeing, I casually mentioned that these were Republican/Bush policies. Of course there was silence.

But it felt good.

My mother and brother support the PNAC agenda. End of story. They will defend * to the end.

The fundies I know will defend their religion to the end. I think I'm looking for a way I can learn to control my anger, to live within myself. They certainly aren't going to change, so I have to.

I live in an extremely conservative area with churches on almost every street corner, many, if not most of them embracing some sort of evangelicalism.

For my own sanity, I mostly have learned just to ignore it and congregate with those of a similar mind, hang out in places like DU, and call my friend in Maryland a lot. (He's my best friend and would probably be my soul-mate if I were gay.) I sometimes feel like I'm forcing myself into a state of denial, which is supposed to be unhealthy, but in my case, and it appears in your case as well, it may be the only thing that allows you to remain healthy at all.

Since finding it, I've spent A LOT of time on DU. It helps tremendously.

And if they bring it up, change the subject. Otherwise it's like banging your head against a brick wall. :shrug:

...a captive audience.

Gee, I could really use some liberal atheist friends.

and everytime I go home to Bush country I deal with what you're talking about. My feeling on the mass-cult-like-Bush-love thing is kind of the same: I waffle between feeling sorry for people and wanting to shake them. Hard.

Just tonight my sister was telling me about her boss at work who, when my sister asked if anyone had watched the SC primary debate (this was a while ago), said "I'm a Republican!" (like she was offended? Like that means it goes without question that she wouldn't watch?). Then when others started trash talking the dem. candidates this same woman joined in to offer, "Well I know I don't like that guy Clark b/c Michael Moore supports him & I can't stand Micheal Moore." And fnially she closed the conversation with, "I just don't like politics. I don't like to talk about that stuff. Did anybody watch American Idol last night?"

I don't know how to deal with it myself. But it's true that I don't usually force my opinions on people (unless they are members of my family and then I allow myself to say whatever I want) but instead wait for them to bring something up & then casually offer the opinion of the 'other side.'

My mother, for example, just got tickets to go see GW in Kalamazoo. In fact, she had to call me this morning to tell me the story - the ticket issue got all fucked up, she (along with a lot of other people)was promised tickets, but they weren't there when she was early in the morning. They took her name and told her to come back later - she did, and they gave the tickets to people that came later. Anyway - she called to tell me that she called the paper, and they ended up interviewing her for the front page of the local paper. She was later contacted by the GW campaign workers, and given VIP tickets to the event. She's going to be in one of the first rows. Basically - I just asked her "Can you hear that sound?" She wanted to know what sound - and I said "the sound of me retching" .. lol I then told her I'd pay her 100 bucks if I sent her my Rosie the riveter t-shirt that has UP YOURS GEORGE printed on it and she wore it at the rally. She wasn't amused, and we don't talk about much more than that. She knows how I feel, but she thinks he's a "real person" and lives in her own little world so....

The only non-liberal in my life that I actually discuss politics with is my boss. He's a libertarian. We argue a lot - although he voted for GW and now hates him. We've gotten into the gay marriage argument a few times - most recently Thursday night. We both ended up staying after work because we were having a huge talk - personal, political, you name it. Anyway, we didn't leave work until after midnight (I was off at FIVE!!) and he told me that I pretty much swept the legs out from under his argument against gay marriage. What point I made that nailed it, I don't even know - it was a LONG discussion and I don't remember the one thing I said that made him think. He's harder to argue with than a republican, because he's consistant and has intellectual honesty. He did tell me he thinks I'm beautiful (differentiating between beautiful and attractive - inner and outer. According to him I'm BOTH - job security, YAY!!) which to me says he loves the person I am - forgiving and compassionate - so maybe his admiration of those qualities in me will make him see why I stand where I do politically.

So my answer depends on the pubs or fundies I encounter. Some aren't worth arguing with - I make how I feel about Bush clear, without hashing out WHY I feel that way about him. Some I don't even get into how I feel with - it's not worth it. Others, like my boss, I keep at it and at it and at it with, and maybe eventually I will say something that flips a switch for them.

I refuse to do so.
As soon as I know you're an idiot, we're no longer friendly.

I don't understand how anyone COULD continue to associate with them. In MY mind they are out to destroy America.

You think they want to destroy America?

You don't think there's the outside chance that they love America just as much as you, but just have kinda screwed up ways of trying to improve the country?

I should have said "going to" not "want to."

Regardless, I won't forgive their stupidity.

It's hard to, isn't it. I hear ya.

but that ended after taking the high road on too many arguments. I now crush them with extreme prejudice. After I get done thrashing their asinine positions with facts(something hardline pukes hate), I usually get into the personal insults with them. This is the only way these people get the point. Anyone that tries to defend Bush or his policies in my presence finds out the hard way.

I can no longer bear any of them, including family members (not hubby or son).

I'm outraged and can't understand why any other thinking American isn't either. I don't just blame that f*cking chimp or cheney or rove et.al.-- I blame my neighbors and all the other people I know who still support these monsters. There IS enough info out there that they should know better. The press has a lion's share of the blame here, but for anyone paying attention, the truth can be found and seen.

I want to move to a more liberal southern city OR if the draft is reconstituted after November, to NZ.

I think we have a lot in common and I'd like to know you better. Maybe together we can find a way to live with the Repug fundies. I feel your pain. My entire family are Repug fundies (or objectivists)...and god, it hurts! Even now I find myself tearing up. I see people on DU describe how evil Repug fundies are and I have to admit that members of my family fit the description to a T.

I still love my mother, but am coming to a point where I detest my brother for his love of greed and the cruel acts he's committed against animals and against inmates in his position as a prison guard. He makes jokes about being cruel and expects me to laugh. Then he asks why I don't share things with him.

Good Lord! Why don't I share things with him???????? I don't fucking trust him, that's why!

Sigh.

And with family if need be also?

Its that simple. If it could be a problem then avoid it. At work just say lets talk about Sally...hee hee(name generic). At home say I love you but disagree so lets talk about Sally.

I live in Kansas and deal with it all the time.

If someone is sitting the fence then talk is good, If not then forget it and dont be mad or upset. Losing friends over politics is just down right stipid. It wasnt why you became friends in the beginning 99% of the time and its a bad reason to shun them.

I get mails from some old friends that I dont like and I tell em I still love them but dont mail me that shit no more. I get responses that support the friendship almost always and agree that we wont agree.

You cant change everyones ideas and if you loved em before, There is a reason for it and it wasnt anything to do with dem, rep.

Talk politics here and. With them as long as it isnt destroying your friendship. I believe in what I believe but its not worth losing a friend for that belief if you really cant do anything to change reality.

Kerry, Bush, whats really gonna change? Maybe a lil bit at most and its not worth losing a friendship.

OK sorry, I may be wrong but, I wont lose a friend over politics that really never change.

Hope you have sweet dreams Ladyhawk.

There are others that are so repugnant to me that I have no desire to have a friendship with them. Mostly, these are people I was never friends with in the first place, so it doesn't really matter.

When it comes to the people with whom I intend to remain friends, I'll still feel either sorry for them or like slapping the shit out of them...at least for awhile. Maybe forever. Considering what * is doing to the country, the "invisible friend" thing is no longer cute. The Repug thing is no longer tolerable. Our very future is at stake and I am tired of tiptoeing around their sensibilities.

I have decided: I am no longer open to forming new relationships with Republican fundies. I'm too surrounded by them as it is and life is too fucking short to burden myself with more of them. The next friend I make is going to be a liberal. Period. I don't care if she believes in god as long as she isn't a bloody fundy.

Thanks. I'll try for some sweet dreams. I may have found someone who is liberal that I can hang out with IRL. O please let it work out. I'm so fucking lonely.

"Losing friends over politics is just down right stipid."

What do you talk about? the weather?!!!!! superficial stuff??????

You don't have real convictions, do you? You must just want someone to be around, don't ya???

One MUST have common ground for friendship! If you don't fight for politics, then what do you fight for?

That way, if they are open minded, I convert them.

If not, they don't come around anymore.

Win win in my mind.

Thats such a stupid way to approach it. But hey you do what you want as the DEM party falls into the sea.

...with them unless they bring it up themselves. I have some good friends who are dyed-in-the-wool Republicans but who are otherwise very fun to be with as long as we don't talk politics too much.

Over the last 3+ years, though, I HAVE been offering my observations on the Bush administration to a conservative, non-idealogue co-worker of mine, a really nice guy who, unfortunately, voted for * in 2000. Recently, he said he won't vote for Bush again, because of his handling of the economy, the way he got us into Iraq and the fact that his kids may be subject to the draft in the near future. I even have him listening to Air America (he likes Randi Rhodes).

are the common born-again, NRA variety republicans. Just had a big b-day bash for one of the babies in the family and the tension between our two sides of the family was thick. We actually separated into different rooms. One perceptible political utterance could have resulted in full scale war.

I just talk to them
One of my BEST friends is going bush
I try to talk her into Kerry....
But I can't go there
Kerry is the tall bush
2-twelve of one
one of the other

I try to defend my lefty status and defend Kerry...I do get carried away sometimes but this is what I get for standing up for my beliefs...
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Subject a poll about me
Posted by imaxtheidiot (User )
Posted on 5/1/04 10:59 PM

Hi, my name is imax. I like to drink beer, drive and get pulled over. I like to smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and talk about how my man John Kerry is going to beat pResident bush.

althought im full of (censored), i think i know what im talkingabout.

im also a hypocrite and when people call methat i create polls to make me feel better. i need some real help but doctor phil refuses to take my phone calls anymore.

i guess im going to the bar. then ill come back here and post more crapola.

kerry or ill drink another 12 pack tongiht

burp!
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So as you can see...this guy, who goes to the trouble to create another username with my username in it, resorts to this type of behavior because I don't like BushCo and I prove him wrong when he starts echoing right-wing garbage...

it's enough to make me want to quit...

My best friend and her husband are Bush fans. I've been friends with her for years, and she has changed so much in the last couple of years it's amazing. I've found I've been avoiding them lately, which makes me feel like crap.

For me, I feel so strongly about politics and what is happening to this country that it's hard for me to associate with people who I differ from so completely. Even if the conversation stays away from stuff like that, it's on my mind and I just feel myself getting angry - yet I know that debating them won't do any good, so I don't. It is very frustrating.

I don't feel this way about other issues, like religion. I have no problems associating with people who I differ from on religious views, because even though I may not share their views I respect them. So long as they don't try to convert me, of course. But with Bush lovin'... I just can't respect that.

Fortunately for me though, my whole family feels the same as I do so we have really great conversations about politics. I don't discuss politics much with my in-laws, but I've spoke with them enough to know they're not very enamored with Bush. In fact, my husband's grandmother can't STAND him - she calls him "that arrogant fool that thinks he's a cowboy"... LOL.

For example - did noah have to pick two of each bacteria, virus and bug for his arc?
If light was created on the 3rd day (?)what happened to the first two? There couldnt have been days - no light.
Abraham had a wife by his mistress then kicked her out into the desert when his own wife became pregnant. Where is the morality please?
The vulcano in the greek island of santorini was possibly the largest explosion ever, equivalent to 15 atom bombs. It was so powerful it darkened the earth for several days. Strangely enough, it erupted at the same time as one of the plagues (that of darkness) and the wind currents go from santorini to egypt. Oops coincidence?
And so on
For repukes - boy are we kicking ass. We went into somalia and they kicked us out. We went into afghanistan and soldiers are still dying while they revert to their own ways. We are in iraq (mission accomplished)after telling the UN we didnt need them then went crawling to them for help. We went to kick hussein out and have now turned over Fallouja to a former Nussein general (welcome back hussein)
Bush has presided over more executions in texas than any other state and never once pardoned anyone. Compassionate xtian? Cast the first stone? Remember?
And so on

I have a good friend who is a Repug. His whole life has gone to hell. He's on the verge of bankruptcy. His house and cars are gone, but this guy still loves Bush. I have a cousin who is in the same situation. I think they would still love Bush even if he stood over them with a bucket of piss and slowly poured it over them.

a freeper. We have learned to teasingly disagree about politics since our relationship is more important to us than fighting to convert one another. Since my Mom and Dad aren't living any longer, she's all I have except for my son.

I live in the Bible Belt and in a heavily republican area. I've never had anyone try to force their beliefs on me though. Maybe it's because I live in a small town and there's always other things to talk about.

Once a month I do attend the meeting of the local Democratic Party. Of course that's not organized out of my town but out of the next biggest town closest to me. I talk to the people there on a regular basis so maybe that provides me my outlet.

I realized a long time ago I wasn't going to change many people's minds about much of anything so I quit trying. It was better for my peace of mind.

Most local offices are filled by Republicans running unopposed, though there is the occasional surprise victory. But most offices are decided in the Republican primaries. Most of my friends, however, feel as I do, that Bush* must go. I stay away from those whose hearts and minds I cannot change. It's a losing battle. But if you find someone who is undecided, like my Dad's cousin, who I spoke to, recently, that's another story. She knew very little, but was leaning in the right direction. I filled her in. That's one less vote for Bush* in November.;-)

I have a very conservative friend. We just don't talk about politics. Fortunately, my whole family is liberal, so we don't have that issue around holiday dinners or anything.

One way is just to let them rant and drift off and do other things while they're talking. I guess it's rude, but is it any more rude than what they're doing?

You have to keep in mind that these people, kind as they may be in real life, are weak-minded and easily swayed by propaganda. I learn a lot about this kind of person from a friend who's extremely extreme. It's interesting how he will say one thing that is not so bad, and later when he finds out from hate radio what he "should" think, how he will change his tune to the approved hate stance of the day.

I think I first noticed this with the O.J. Simpson thing way back when. We were not where we could get news when the low speed chase or whatever took place -- the first we heard of it was going to get breakfast and reading a free newspaper at the restaurant. My friend read a description of the murders and said immediately, "There is no way that one person committed this crime." Later, when he learned what he was "supposed" to believe, he became completely turned around on the issue and convinced that O.J. was guilty despite the messed-up blood samples, the questions about the police evidence tampering, etc. I could observe the whole process of someone changing their mind just because Rush told him to change his mind and stop thinking for himself.

So you have to feel sorry for them a little bit. These are the same people who fall prey to every advertisement. This friend, among other stupid purchases, recently paid over $200 for a NONprescription pair of sunglasses. Can we say idiot? The just don't have what we have upstairs, you have to pity them somewhat and make allowances. I think we need to be honest with ourselves: Fundies are, by and large, stupid. The most extreme wingnuts are, by and large, stupid. Maybe stupidity is not officially a disease but they are not equal in their ability to reason and to think things through -- so they want simple black and white answers to life all thought out for them by somebody else. If you just remind yourself, yes, this person is really that stupid, and it's a shame but I can't do anything about it...maybe it's a little easier not to just dump all over them.

It just annoys me too much.

Maryland Rethuglicans. St. Reagan and on and on. It's all I can do to keep my mouth shut. I've never heard such crap in my life. My family is solid Missouri Dems top to bottom. We couldn't be more different. My wife is a Dem but that's all she says to her fam. She gets the look.
I was under the mistaken impression that Maryland was a Reasonably Dem/liberal state. I learned otherwise since moving here nine months ago especially here on the Eastern Shore.