My daughter is completely cool...

This is a personal story with details probably no one but myself cares about, but I just have to share it with people who "get it." Thank you for indulging me...

My daughter is 14. Her mother and I have been divorced since she was 2, but we've always maintained a friendly relationship and have few disputes about how my daughter is raised. But we have been at odds occasionally about a few things that are derived from our different political views. (When my ex re-married, it was to a "law and order" fundie type. She didn't adopt it wholesale, but she's a lot different than when we were together.) We've agreed mostly to deal with this by not overtly forcing any particular viewpoint on my daughter. We give her info and let her make up her own mind. But, this has resulted in me not letting her know my full opinion of many things, and as she gets older, I'm starting to worry a bit that since she's with her mother more days out of the month than I am, she gets a little more "info" from her than I'd like.

When I picked my daughter up from school yesterday for the weekend, I could tell something heavy was playing on her mind. She's a total teenager now, so I knew better than to pry. I just tried to steer the conversation in suggestive directions and hope she'd get to the point of feeling like opening up. Eventually, she did.

Seems she got in trouble at school, and she was afraid of how her mother was going to react when she found out. I asked her to let me know what happened, and after skirting the full extent of the subject for a bit, she finally let it out.

My daughter and her friends, 6 girls and 3 guys, staged a protest against the mistreatment of gays and lesbians, specifically acts of violence against them and the current efforts by our legislature to ban recognition of homosexual marriage.

They were really smart about it too. The researched the subject and picked a form of protest that would present them with the most standing should someone try to resist them. For a full day, they refused to speak. The day before, as they were leaving school, as a group they went to the principal and told him what they'd be doing, and he didn't openly object. I think the subject of the protest stunned him too much for him to have any kind of real reaction.

When they went to their classes the next day, they presented their teacher with a note detailing what they were doing. Most of the teachers said little. One said it would be a relief to spend a day of silence. One, their social studies teacher, actually told them that even though he didn't agree with their cause, it was nice to see teenagers standing up for something. Then they hit their last class of the day.

That teacher had of course gotten wind of what was going on and was prepared. She'd gone to the Internet and dug up a bunch of stuff about what rights students actually had, etc. She interpreted this all very liberally of course and didn't think to apply it to the individual situation, but she had her case, she felt. She demanded they end their protest else they'd be "sent to the office."

So, they were sent to the office. The principal didn't discipline them, but he did keep them out of the class for the hour, saying he'd deal with it later. They remained silent throughout the ordeal. My daughter doesn't know what exactly happened after that, only that the teacher told them that she'd be contact their parents. This happened earlier in the week. As of Friday, she hadn't done anything.

I made sure to call my ex-wife and let her know what was going on. I waited for her reaction first, but I was prepared to do battle if she gave me any response other than the one I wanted. Thankfully, she remembered some of her roots and the fact one of our mutual, very good friends is gay and was at one time beaten senseless for it. She agreed she back our daughter up whatever might come.

An interesting footnote to the story: The student teacher in the class with the teacher who tried to stop their protest approached the group during their lunch break. All he said was that he wanted to personally thank them for what they did. They asked no questions. They knew the answers. And it made them feel like they'd done something important.

I also took the opportunity to tell my daughter a lot of my personal history that she hadn't known before. I let her know Uncle Jon, my best friend, is gay. She said she thought he might be, but wasn't sure. We've had some really good talks these past couple days about a lot of things.

And, I'm so proud of my daughter I can barely contain myself.

Again, thanks for indulging me.

Your daughter is indeed cool.

Thanks for sharing it. :)

I am reminded of when I found out my little brother had been arguing against the death penalty with many of his friends in high school. We have really fundie southern baptist republican parents and I was in college at the time and doing a lot of anti-death penalty work with Amnesty International, but I had never shared it, or any of my growing liberal views with my brother. That was the first time I realized he and I were on the same path, that he had come to same conclusions I had (and that my fundie parents had clearly gone wrong somewhere). :D

It's always wonderful to know someone you love has arrived at your way of thinking without any direct input from you. It's validating and comforting.

At her request, I also let my daughter know pretty much every stance I have on every political issue I could think of. She said that all her friends are "anti-Bush" and that they get in arguments with people who are "pro-Bush." I remember having opinions at her age, but I do not remember it being a school thing to have pro and anti camps that actually had discussions.

I've given her a lot of printouts of information to share with her friends.

I only wish they could vote. :-)

...what a great person your daughter is growing up to be.

You don't have to force your beliefs, but if you just so happened to leave the DU on your comp when she visits, it would be just a accident. ;-) Looking forward to her first post. :thumbsup:

I actually did that; it just wasn't intentional. She wanted to check her e-mail, and I had the browser open when she sat down. She read through whatever thread I was on at the time.

She thinks some of the graphics people put in their sigs are hilarious. :-)

You did well to share your story, she's done what most adults wouldn't!