Join Rush Limbaugh in celebrating Pilondial Cyst Awareness Month

May is Pilonidal Cyst Awareness Month!
A Special Message from Rush Limbaugh

Hi there, I'm Rush Limbaugh. You may know me as a radio personality and a reactionary hatchet man for the GOP, but I'm also one of millions of Americans who suffer from chronic pilonidal cysts. I'd like to speak frankly with my fans, and especially you kids out there, about pilonidal cysts and what you can do to avoid them.

Now maybe you've been listening to the other kids who say: "Aw it's just a little Jeep Rot it's no big deal", but nothing could be further from the truth!

When I was young I dreamed of growing up to be a great Christian warrior who would lead our country into battle against the dreaded Vietnamese Empire. I dreamed at night of killing Gooks with my bare hands and spent my days preparing for the struggle of a generation. But, as patriotic as I was, I neglected to wipe my big, fat ass. Soon it became infected with a pilonidal cyst and I was unable to lead my country to victory.

I remember sitting at home, watching the liberal news media show me those horrible photos of the last Americans being evacuated from Vietnam. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I thought to myself: "If only I'd wiped!". It was then that I truly became a Christian and I promised God that I would never again fail to wipe my great big, filthy, Macy's-Thanksgiving-Day ass.

<snip>

http://genslab.com/Rush.html

cause he didn't know were to start.He's all ass.

"Power Point Presentation"
-----Fighting For Freedom of P. Cysts-----

'Warning Signs'

'What to Bend Over and Look For In the Mirror'

'Prescription Pain Relievers for P. Cysts'

'Oxy for "Relief of Painful Embarassment" of P. Cysts'
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*******FEATURE PRESENTATION********

'ME & MY PILONIDAL - Before and After', slide show and coffee klatch,

narrated by Rush Limbaugh, guest speaker

Pilonidal/Pilondial(??? we don't know and we don't care) Cyst is a boil on your ass.

and not funny when you have one.

Oh, the best part is, becaue it so close to your spine they dont' want to give you an anesthetic, and they lance it with the Big F'n Needle, then use a forceps to pry it open wide enough to stick a cotton wick in there to drain it.

Briefly, have you ever bitten any signficant way through a gauze roll before (given to me to bit one while they did this).

I will make fun of RL for lots of reasons, but not specifcally for this one.

Ouch.

Its only funny when its on Rush.

Rush is still all ass in my book.

Jeez.

I guess I was lucky. The ER Doc called over a surgeon and he had me sliced and diced, drained of pus and outta there in an hour or so. The pressure as he squeezed out the pus was the only discomforting bit, other than the receeding fever.

A week later I went back to his clinic and he sliced me up a treat in about 20 minutes, if that. Good to go.

Until I got the bill, of course.

...Though I have a good laugh, sometimes, that Rush and I suffer from the same ass problem. I need to have my P.C. surgically dealt with and, I have to admit, all this talk about Rush and his cyst has empowered me to seek out an immediate remedy for a situtuation that's gone on far too long.

So thank you, Mr. Limbaugh. Though I daresay, my firm young buttocks staring up at any surgeon worth his/her scalpel will be a much better sight than your tubby, aged, pock-marked monstrosity. (Although Rush's money's better than mine---there's no question about that).

You think I won't send my puter-ific, pus-filled gauze bandages to Rush's P.O. box after my surgery? With a handwritten note in my own pus and blood? Watch me.

that frequently need to be drained and packed. I don't like bringing it up for public consumption, but it is painful...really painful and can also cause life threatening infections (of which I have been hospitalized for three times) Please make fun of Rush for one of the Many Many other things for which we can. Getting 30 inches of cotton yanked out of your rear really really hurts.

Thanks,

Laura