|
I proudly announce the formation of a new corporation.
The Corp shall be called Instant Crowd Inc. and the sole purpose shall be providing service to political campaigns, marginal television shows, Corporate Board meetings and other entities who are in need of large, wildly enthusiastic crowds for public relations purposes.
Here's how it works:
Need good publicity? Need to give the impression that your featured speaker has massive public acceptance and, by inference, must be "on god's side"? We'll do it for you. With just 24 hours advance notice we will provide you with 100 to 1000 enthusiastic supporters who will cheer your speech at every comma. With more than 24 hours notice, and, of course, a small additional fee, we will provide chants, signs with snappy one-liner slogans in support of your speaker/comedian/star. If you purchase the Deluxepackage, we'll supply common-looking people to talk to local news/media people covering the event to confirm how inspiring/moving/sensible your star's speech or presentation was.
The loss of over 3 million jobs in the Country and the rapidly increasing trend toward outsoucing, has created a huge pool of potential laborers/attendees. Long-term unemployed should be desperate enough to work a few hours at minimum wage to provide large crowds for almost any event. Entities wishing positive publicity should be willing to cough up handsome sums for the positive publicity and the new corporation should make a healthy margin between the cost of minimum wage crowds and the vast sums of cash available form the $2,000 per hot dog fund raisers.
Ahhhhh private enterprise. Find a need and fill it!
Warning......this is a joke.......this is sarcasm.
|