HUMBLE ASSISTANCE

HUMBLE ASSISTANCE

PLEASE IF YOU ARE CONCERNED WHILE REPLYING THIS MAIL
REPLY IT THROUGH THIS MAILING ADDTRESS:
(johnsondouglas_01@yahoo.co.in)
ATTN: DIRECTOR/C.E.O.


Dear Sir/Madam

You may be surprised to receive this letter from me
since you do not know me personally, the purpose of my
introduction is that, I am johnson douglas the first
son of kinsley douglas who was recently murdered in
the land dispute in Zimbabwe. I got your contact
through network online hence decided to write you.

Before the death of my father, he had taken me to
Johannesburg to deposit the sum of US$7 (SEVEN UNITED STATES
DOLLARS) in one the private security company, as if he
foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe. This money was
deposited in a box as germ stones to avoid much
demurrage from Security Company. This amount was meant
for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the
farms and established of new farm in Swaziland.

This land problem came when Zimbabwean President Mr.
Robert Mugabe introduce a new Land Act reform which
wholly affected the rich white farmers and some few
blacks farmers. And this resulted to the killing and
mob action by Zimbabwean war veterans and some
lunatics in the society. In fact, a lot of people were
killed because of this land reformed Act for which my
father was one of the victim.

It is against this background that, I and my family
who are currently staying in South Africa decided to
transfer my father's money to foreign account since
the law of South Africa prohibit a refugee (asylum
seeker) to open any bank account or to be involved in
any financial transaction throughout the teritorial
zone South Africa. As the eldest son of my father, I
am a saddle with the responsibility of seeking a genuine
foreign account where this money could be transferred
without the knowledge of my government who are bent on
taking everything we have got - which ain't much.
The South African government seems to be playing along
with them. I am faced with the dilemma of investing this
amount of money in South Africa for fear of going through
the same experience in future since both countries have
similar political history. Moreover, the South African
Foreign Exchange policy does not allow such investment
for an asylum seeker.

As a businessman, who I have to entrust my future and
of my family in his hands, I must let you know that
this transaction is risk free. After all, it is only
SEVEN dollars we're talking about. If you accept to
assist me and my family all I want you to do
for me is to make arrangements and come to
Johannesburg, South Africa, so that you can open a
non-resident account which will aid us in transferring
the money into any account you will nominate overseas.
This money I intend to use for investment. Sound reasonable,
Poncho?

I have two options for you, firstly you can choose to
have certain percentage of the money for nominating
your account for this transaction. Or you can go into
partnership with me for the proper profitable
investment of the money in your country. Let's say,
for starters, five bucks. Whichever the options you want,
feel free to notify me I have also mapped out 5% of
this money for all kinds of expenses incurred in the
process of this transaction. If you do not prefer a
partnership I am willing to give you 30% of the money
while the remaining 65% will be for my investment in
your country.

Contact me with the above E-mail or Telephone number
while I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy
required in this transaction. IF YOUR SHOE STARTS TO RING,
ACT NORMAL.

(NB)PLEASE WHILE REPLYING THIS MAIL REPLY THROUGH THIS
MAILING ADDRESS: (johnsondouglas_01@yahoo.co.in)
Yours Faithfully,
MR.JOHNSON DOUGLAS.
(FOR THE FAMILY THAT CANNOT SPELL)

P.S. THAT'S SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS!

nt

How can I resist?

The one that I use on behalf of our local peace group gets about five of these a day, every day, every single damn day.

This one was fairly humorous. I'd like to see more parodies. Maybe then I wouldn't feel like slitting someone's wrist (not my own) whenever I read these things.