Its The People With STUPID Pets Thread!

i am getting pretty sick of all these pet posts that say: "my cat is soooooo cute" and "my pot bellied pig knows 187 tricks!"

look folks. some pets are stupid. some are retarded. some couldn't find their asses with ANOTHER DOG'S nose!

meet Remy 'the Wonder Pug'



Remy ain't the smartest Pug on the block. Frankly, he is a Hamburger shy of a Happy Meal. Remy barks when the wind blows. Frankly he barks when the wind ISN'T blowing. This often occurs at precisely 2:17 am. the cats don't like it (BTW, we have one cat who is a genius and one that is competing with Remy for the "My IQ is less than the number of my paws Award" but that is for another thread.

god FORBID the Mrs and I go outside to do yard work. Remy doesn't simply bark, he HOWLS at the damn MOON! his lips pucker up and he just tries to shatter windows! Sorry Remy, i am mowing the DAMNED LAWN and really don't want you chasing the lawn mower trying to bite it like you do with the vacuum cleaner. :eyes: i have opened up the windows and put a nice blanket on your favorite chair so you can SEE mommy and I whilst we work so you know we haven't left you for all eternity.

tricks? does Remy do tricks you ask? well if you consider blowing Pug-snot in your face EVERY TIME you let him on your lap a trick then i suppose so. he can sure suck down a Beggin' Strip too.

Remy weighs a porky 28lbs. (that is his mother's fault btw). when the Yorkshire Terrier PUPPY that lives down the street walks by, Remy goes CRAZY!! he can't WAIT to play with it. course when Remy is let out from behind the protective screen to 'play' with "Benny" he immediately goes into "Holy Shit I Am Actually TERRIFIED Of Other Dogs" mode. Remember i told you Remy weighs 28lbs? "Benny" maybe weighs 3lbs. Hell, i have seen the cat cough up HAIRBALLS that are bigger than this little rat. Remy acts like he is in the presence of "Conan The King Of All Rottwilers".

don't get me wrong, Remy is lovable. i mean "Lenny" was lovable in "Of Mice And Men" right? its kind of like that.

Maybe i should have named him George. :)

so, WHO ELSE WILL ADMIT TO HAVING STUPID PETS!

that would spin in circles chasing his own tail. The funny thing was he would not stop after he caught it.

Now my mutt Louise ... well...

;)

Bailey here runs around outside catching bees in his mouth. They sting him and he goes back for more every time. That would make him 40 watts shy of a 60 watt bulb.

Let me explain. She is the dog that wants in when she's out and out when she's in... In,out,in,out,in.out... Is it because she is stupid? Or is it because I am stupid enough to let her in,out,in,out,in. And then there's the squeaky baby. All day long Jessie brings squeaky baby to you and drops it at your feet. Then she stares at it as if willing it to move so she can chase it. Is she stupid to think that she could get it to move, or am I stupid because I invariably pick it up and toss it?

Oh, total without a doubt stupid things she does:

Protecting us from the evils of the automatic garage door. She holds a standoff, barking at it and running in and tripping the sensor mechanism so it will stop.

And, she must escort you to the bathroom every time so that she can watch the toilet flush. She's got to get her head right in there and watch. She will howl if you don't let her in the bathroom. Suffice to say she howls a lot.

You be the judge. ;)

a.k.a "Jabbacat" a.k.a "Lardass" a.k.a. "Puddin-San"


He's less intelligent than krill. His tongue is almost always hanging out,a trait that only serves to accentuate his dimwittedness.He'll eat just about anything (thus the less-than-fine form):

problem is, he's so dim that when I feed him he'll just sit there and whine at me until I place him DIRECTLY in front of the food dish (nope, he can't find his ass with his own paws). Once the food has been noticed, he'll scarf it down with such gusto (making belching and grunting noises-hell, I may as well have a potbellied pig!) that he often makes himself sick and throws up afterwards. Of course, THAT is followed by more "I'm HUNGRY"! whining. *sigh*
I built 'kitty stairs" so he can climb onto the guest bed and sun himself in the afternoon, but the poor dolt needs to have his front pams placed on the stairs to remember how to use them, otherwise he just stands there and whines, looking at the bed. Despite his pResidential dimness, the other two cats think he's just the bee knees, and simply adore him. :-)

Kind of sounds like it.

I have 3 pretty lazy cats and 2 wild tiger wannabees. Not a brain cell between 'em!

He's 15, so I'm sure it's not what it used to be. It just takes a new thought a LONG time to dawn on him. He's great at playing with his fishing pole feather toy-that is, once he's watched the other cats play with it for a while and it slowly dawns on him that yes, he's played with it before and enjoyed it. Poor guy, he was dumped in street with his siblings as a kitten, and was rather undernourished when I took him home. I suppose that could have caused a bit of brain damage. :shrug: He's certainly been making up for those lean months ever since!

That dog on "Men in Black II"...

:)

:shrug: :D He doesn't want people to know how really smart he is? He just plays dumb so he gets out of things he doesn't really want to do?

I'm sensing a doggy genius.

like BUSH AT A PRESS CONFERENCE. :o

I was wondering where I'd seen that expression before!:D

Man he's gonna so kill me, I'm dead meat

Oh man, you are SO gonna get it!

His full name is Mr. Twinklestar (my sister was 5) but is commonly called Mr. T or T-man. He seems to find toes and fingers hypnotic and addictive. I'll put my feet up next his tank and he will stare at my toes contently for hours. Should I remove my feet he will go nuts. He'll try to dig his way through the glass wall of the tank, as if that would help.
He used to chase his bait fish around the tank and gobble them up while we watched, all 3 dozen gone in under a week. Now we're lucky to see him snap at them. They spend months swimming around with no tails and slowly disappearing come dawn.

Ahhhh! :-)

you don't have to be smart!

our family's 8 year old Guinea pig. My daughter likes to make him hats for the holidays. Don't worry it's only placed there, no staples or tape.

thanks for clearing that up :D

calling PETA on me! besides nailguns are for human heads as we have seen this week, a tiny Guinea pig head would require something much smaller, say like a brad nailer.

don't even need an air compressor :D

proper way to attach a hat to a guinea pigs head is drywall screws, I may be mistaken though.

:D

brads and a nail set, a little colored putty and...voila'

do you pound out the brads from the bottom?

its just going to have be thanksgiving all year round.

their head in a vise may work

of course. thats why the make spackle in guinea pig colors

x(

man right about now woulda been a good time to insert a picture of Homer Formbys Guinea Pig Finishing guide. I suck at photoshop though

i just read the bottle.

I looked all over for a picture like that LOL

with a thumbtack on windy days.
;-)

OUCH!!

:shrug:

turned your thread into a guinea pig finishing seminar

my poor rodent, he's so cute, but now that you mention he could use a little touching up.

and i would recommend oil-based

working on a step by step guide right now. funny thing though, I was looking for nail pictures and got she-males with finger nails instead

which bit did you use in your router?

the 3/4 roundover. actually he looks like one of those dudes from star trek, warf or something like that

i prefer that 'finished look'

I was planning on going down to a 600 grit wet/dry sandpaper for that glass-like finish

and my rodent has a white nosecone!

maybe we could "punk" him up a bit, like sid vicious

Patches, white nosecone and all. just photodhop his hat off.

we do love him.

matcom. remember the movie deliverance?

we should do a DU cartoon, keeps us out of the threads where all they do is argue word useage

Keep them coming!
I love the little hats!

starts shortly

in the meantime lets all color