What if Jesus ran for office as a democrat?

Norbert

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Thu May-13-04 10:27 PM
Original message

What if Jesus ran for office as a democrat?

Edited on Thu May-13-04 10:29 PM by Norbert

Do you ever wonder what Jesus Christ would go through with right wing radio if he ran for public office as a democrat? I think it would resemble something like this:

The miracle of changing water into wine at a wedding.
”Yeah, he ended up getting his families friends all liquored up and wasted.”

The miracle of the loaves of bread and fish to feed the multitude of people.
“Now how could this possibly happen? Jesus and his followers obviously have trouble telling the truth.”

Some of Jesus disciples were tax collectors.
“There you have it folks. Once the man is in power he will raise your taxes at an alarming rate and he has his regime in place and ready to do it probably in the first 100 days.”

The washing of his feet with Mary Magdalene’s tears and drying them with her hair.
”This must be some weird kind of sexual fetish. And look, his "acquaintance" is a known prostitute. Surely you don’t want some sexual pervert in office.”

The storm at sea while on the boat with the apostles.
“Look at this. He endangers the lives of his closest friends. If he does this with his friends imagine how irresponsible he would be once he is in office.”

The throwing of the moneychangers out of the temple.
” Listen up folks. This man is no friend to capitalism. Once he is in power the Communist Manifesto will be required reading by all, mark my word”

”Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers you do unto me.”
“He passes himself off as a commoner but he claims to be the Lord. Such hypocrisy.”

”This is my body. This is my blood.”
“Now tell me folks. Does this sound unholy or what?”

Judas leaves the last supper.
”Some uniter this man is. His coalition is fragmenting as we speak.”

Judas hangs himself after betraying Jesus.
”Well they call this an apparent suicide. I don’t know. This looks very suspicious like they wanted him out of the way for some reason. Very suspicious.”

The scourging of him at the pillar.
“This is like a college hazing. These people were only blowing off a little steam. Give them a break.”

The crucifixion.
” Was there a doctor around to verify the extent of the injuries? I bet he only suffered a few scratches. Nothing to merit such fame and adulation.”

The Resurrection.
“My friends, have you ever seen such blatant grandstanding on all your born days?”

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DenverDem

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Thu May-13-04 10:28 PM
Response to Original message

1. Southern Baptists would crucify him.

Catholics would put words in his mouth.

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Rabrrrrrr

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Thu May-13-04 10:32 PM
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2. That's right on the money!

Well done! They wouldn't recognize Jesus at all if he came back. They certainly recognize, as Jesus said, that we are all the face of Jesus and "whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me". It's quite obvious they don't get that meaning. "Oh, Jesus was only talking about Christian white Americans, commie".

Very funny, and like all the best humor, it's true!

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vajraroshana

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Thu May-13-04 10:34 PM
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3. You'd have 2000 years

of people wearing delicate gold chains with a very tasteful representation of a Thorazine tablet.

In other words they'd kill him with anti-psychotics.

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mad_russian

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Thu May-13-04 10:50 PM
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4. Jesus would've been considered a democrat...check it out....

http://www.maplenet.net/~trowbridge/VotersGuide.htm

non partisan christian voters guide...

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