I just ate 2 and 1/2 pounds of beans! Ask me anything!

Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:44 PM
Original message

I just ate 2 and 1/2 pounds of beans! Ask me anything!

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Donkeyboy75

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Tue May-18-04 01:45 PM
Response to Original message

1. Can you please stay outside of a 200 mile

radius of Chicago?

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:47 PM
Response to Reply #1

5. No.

I am only around 100 miles from Chicago, and I don't think I'll be travelling far today.

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Donkeyboy75

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Tue May-18-04 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #5

24. OK, then can you save your farts for southerly or easterly winds?

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:54 PM
Response to Reply #24

31. No.

I want to give you a present!

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Donkeyboy75

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Tue May-18-04 02:03 PM
Response to Reply #31

48. Be careful what you start.

I can just saunter up to Devon Ave. and load up on some Indian food. I can assure you my retaliation will be worse than anything you can muster today, foe.

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #48

51. Indian food has never done to me...

...what I fear will befall me this evening.

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phillybri

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Tue May-18-04 01:45 PM
Response to Original message

2. Are you sitting near an open flame?

Edited on Tue May-18-04 01:45 PM by phillybri

And if so, are you fucking crazy???

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:47 PM
Response to Reply #2

6. Only when I'm in the smoking lounge.

And yes.

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theivoryqueen

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Tue May-18-04 01:45 PM
Response to Original message

3. first - how is that possible

second - aren't you worried about the repercussions
and
third - do you now weigh 2 and 1/2 pounds more than before?

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #3

8. First - have $0.41/ounce Mexican buffet in the cafeteria, spend $15.

second - God, yes.
third - I am not near a scale, but I would imagine so. I FEEL about 20 lbs. heavier.

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theivoryqueen

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Tue May-18-04 02:00 PM
Response to Reply #8

42. I can't remember if I dreamed this or not, but "fart-blocker"

might come in handy - it's underpants with an activated charcoal pad located post posterior. If I did dream it, then I am sorry, I do not have any to send you... yet.

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:01 PM
Response to Reply #42

44. Um. Okay.

Interesting product. I am unfamiliar with it, though.

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theivoryqueen

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Tue May-18-04 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #44

54. maybe it's Japanese n/f

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #54

56. That would make sense.

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theivoryqueen

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Tue May-18-04 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #56

62. I hear they relish the southern breeze n/t

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prole_for_peace

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Tue May-18-04 02:20 PM
Response to Reply #42

61. i saw that too....

my brother sent me a link to their site the other day. it was very strange.

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GOPisEvil

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Tue May-18-04 01:45 PM
Response to Original message

4. Did you take Beano first?

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #4

9. No.

Beano is for wimps.

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kckc

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Tue May-18-04 01:48 PM
Response to Original message

7. Why????

:crazy:

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:50 PM
Response to Reply #7

14. Because...

...I am a goddamned idiot.

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Red State Rebel

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Tue May-18-04 01:49 PM
Response to Original message

10. Now THAT is a Weapon of Mass Destruction!

Just wait till the EPA hears about this..

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:50 PM
Response to Reply #10

15. No, it is a weapon of ASS destruction.

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theivoryqueen

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Tue May-18-04 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #15

46. hehe n/t

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Paradise

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Tue May-18-04 02:17 PM
Response to Reply #15

58. Oooh, it's a WAD, and it's right here on DU! LOL! :) n/t

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mouse7

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Tue May-18-04 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #10

87. It's certainly more toxic than anything found in Iraq yesterday

I don't think anyone will argue it's more of an artillery round either....or at least it will be tomorrow.

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XNASA

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Tue May-18-04 01:49 PM
Response to Original message

11. How have the beans affected your Priapism?

If you answer, "The beans have no effect", then what's it like to suffer from two conditions like Priapism and persistent Flatulence simultaneously?

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:50 PM
Response to Reply #11

16. It is highly arousing!

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southpaw

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Tue May-18-04 01:49 PM
Response to Original message

12. Do you think my new sig pic...

will bother the Floyd haters as much as the "Gilmour is God" sig?

Hey... you said ask you anything...

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:51 PM
Response to Reply #12

20. My ass sounds better than David Gilmour's guitar.

Post-Barrett Floyd has a bean-like effect on me.

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southpaw

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Tue May-18-04 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #20

25. I see it works just as well on you...

Thanks!

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:55 PM
Response to Reply #25

33. You're welcome!

I like to help people by ridiculing their musical taste!

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southpaw

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Tue May-18-04 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #33

47. Let's re-live the glory that was...

Barrett-era Floyd

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:03 PM
Response to Reply #47

49. Don't forget the LSD!

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virgdem

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Tue May-18-04 01:50 PM
Response to Original message

13. I'm glad you're there....

and I'm here. Nuff said.

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #13

21. That is not a question.

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GOPisEvil

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Tue May-18-04 01:50 PM
Response to Original message

17. Have you alerted your wife?

I figure this might be information she'd like to have.

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #17

22. I think the entire Metro-Milwaukee area is aware by now.

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beyurslf

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Tue May-18-04 01:51 PM
Response to Original message

18. Would you please warn anyone before you go to the bathroom?

And wear a mask.

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #18

23. No.

They can fend for themselves.

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Newsman Matt Drudge

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Tue May-18-04 01:51 PM
Response to Original message

19. Ha! Hahahahhahahahaaha!

Those weren't beans you were supposed to eat! They were magical beans, which will soon begin sprouting and grow into a giant stalk, whereby a giant will trample you into nothing!

I saw a documentary once where something similar happened.

Best Kind Regards,
Matt

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #19

27. Will I get to be on the "Report?"

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Newsman Matt Drudge

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Tue May-18-04 01:54 PM
Response to Reply #27

32. Only if something sexy happens

I'm rather one-track.

Sincere Regards,
Matt

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #32

35. There is ALWAYS sexiness when I am flatulent!

My farts are like an aphrodisiac for the ladies of Wisconsin!

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eyesroll

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Tue May-18-04 01:53 PM
Response to Original message

26. Can you, like, sleep somewhere else tonight?

Well, at least if you get home and the house is cold, it won't be for long...

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:55 PM
Response to Reply #26

34. Feel free to take the couch.

I'll just have some comely lass upstairs. You know, a comely lass with no sense of smell.

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Paradise

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Tue May-18-04 01:54 PM
Response to Original message

28. Whitacre D_WI is a Weapon Of Mass Destruction! LOL! :) n/t

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #28

37. No, no, no.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=1154315&mesg_id=1154358&page=

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kitkatrose

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Tue May-18-04 01:54 PM
Original message

Shouldn't you be near a bathroom?

And please stay far away from me. :P

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:58 PM
Response to Original message

38. I'll be near a bathroom in a couple of hours.

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Doosh

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Tue May-18-04 01:54 PM
Response to Original message

29. I hope your toilet can take a punch

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #29

39. My toilet takes rum punch.

You know, when I've drunk too much of it.

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Bake

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Tue May-18-04 01:54 PM
Response to Original message

30. Then I ask you . . . to LEAVE!

Please, leave. The sooner the better! Auuuggghhhh! The pain, the pain!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Bake

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #30

41. Dude... aren't you in Mississippi?

I mean, my gas is strong -- but not THAT strong!

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Richardo

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Tue May-18-04 01:57 PM
Response to Original message

36. Artist's conception of Whitacre D-WI in about 12 hours...

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:00 PM
Response to Reply #36

43. Oh, the humanity!

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ChavezSpeakstheTruth

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Tue May-18-04 01:59 PM
Response to Original message

40. I just ate 23 lbs of Mass Fuel!!!

Puny Human

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:01 PM
Response to Reply #40

45. Mr. Strength, you are hallucinating!

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ChavezSpeakstheTruth

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Tue May-18-04 02:04 PM
Response to Reply #45

50. Not again! Grgglll...grach..phtppp (choking on my own testosterone)

My question is thus: If you were Adrian Zmed what would be your drug of choice?

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:09 PM
Response to Reply #50

52. Viagra, apparently.

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ChavezSpeakstheTruth

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Tue May-18-04 02:11 PM
Response to Reply #52

53. From what I understand he is the female viagra - not that I'd know

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #53

55. It is because he is so non-threatening...

...with the concave penis, and all.

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ChavezSpeakstheTruth

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Tue May-18-04 02:16 PM
Response to Reply #55

57. Actually a man with a concave penis would be threatening to me

becuase it seems like a weight lifting session gone awry!

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #57

59. No, Josh, that is a hernia.

Your penis is around front, and a little lower.

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ChavezSpeakstheTruth

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Tue May-18-04 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #59

60. Oh there it is. Whew. Josh scared, lose penis. Penis good

Thanks Josh-Friend. Josh no smash Whitacre.......yet

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #60

63. Yes, Josh need penis for...

...HEY! Aren't you supposed to be getting hitched today?

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ChavezSpeakstheTruth

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Tue May-18-04 02:29 PM
Response to Reply #63

64. I'm supposed to be but there's a snag

Seems that our priest is advising against the civil marriage before the church one on the grounds that its marrying us twice. They didn't say that they wouldn't do it so we're deliberating that tonight. 11th hour crap - a real headache. I'm here at work waiting for my fiance to pick me up.

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #64

65. Ayiyi!

Well, good luck, brother Strength!

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ChavezSpeakstheTruth

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Tue May-18-04 02:31 PM
Response to Reply #65

66. Thank you. I will be sure to post the outcome before the night is through!

I know everyone's on the edge of their seats!

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LynneSin

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Tue May-18-04 02:32 PM
Response to Original message

67. I ask that you not visit the Philly Metro area for about 6 months...

...especially downtown Wilmington.

Thank you!

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 02:37 PM
Response to Reply #67

68. Delaware, here I come!

I hear you are very hospitable to visitors!

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tigereye

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Tue May-18-04 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #68

69. proabably too late to eat some of those seeds

from the Indian restaurants. Or are you just a glutton for punishment. Oh, well the answer, I suppose is somewhat obvious. Don't mind me, my so says I am still stuck at the anal stage. I love flatulence humor.

The blimp was the best, though.

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 04:34 PM
Response to Reply #69

74. Glutton for punishment, masochist, whatever you wanna call it.

They sure was some yummy beans, though!

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m-jean03

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Tue May-18-04 04:23 PM
Response to Original message

70. Did you cook them with seaweed and ginger?

That reduces gas a great deal. :-)

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Donkeyboy75

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Tue May-18-04 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #70

71. I think you're missing the point, my mullet-loving friend.

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m-jean03

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Tue May-18-04 04:31 PM
Response to Reply #71

72. Whaaaa???

There's a point to something Whitacre posted?

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 04:33 PM
Response to Reply #72

73. Yes, there is a point.

I am farting like a howitzer!

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m-jean03

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Tue May-18-04 04:35 PM
Response to Reply #73

75. Oh, in that case-

Have fun! Maybe it's time to take that White House tour? :shrug:

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #75

76. Woo-hoo!

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Donkeyboy75

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Tue May-18-04 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #72

77. I know, MJ. I'm scared too.

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texas1928

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Tue May-18-04 05:06 PM
Response to Original message

78. Tack your covers down tonight and see if you can get the bed

to float.

The definition of Damn mean?

Sticking your wife's head under the covers after you polluted the air.

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kmla

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Tue May-18-04 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #78

80. Isn't that called "a dutch oven"? n/t

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #80

82. Yes, because the Dutch are too cheap to buy a real oven.

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texas1928

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Tue May-18-04 08:06 PM
Response to Reply #80

88. Yep

It is how you make sticky buns

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geniph

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Tue May-18-04 05:08 PM
Response to Original message

79. Would you please stay out of the Seattle metro region?

for at least a couple of days, mmm-kay?

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 05:25 PM
Response to Reply #79

83. I'll try to arrange it.

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ForrestGump

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Tue May-18-04 05:19 PM
Response to Original message

81. 1. Do you normally

eat as lot of fiber. 'cos if you don't...well...this sorta brings me to the second question:

2. Do you know the scene in Big Trouble In Little China when Thunder (Carter Wong) keeps expanding and expanding and expanding and....

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 05:25 PM
Response to Reply #81

84. I DO normally eat lots of fiber!

Of course, it is nearly all in the form of BEANS!

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ForrestGump

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Tue May-18-04 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #84

85. My goodness, we are twins in our fibermunching!

Mmmmmmm...beans.

Think I'll have some beans with my beans.

It's the musical fruit...

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #85

86. Yes, it is!

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

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Mikimouse

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Tue May-18-04 08:08 PM
Response to Original message

89. Hey Buddy, gotta light?

n/t

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Whitacre D_WI

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Tue May-18-04 08:17 PM
Response to Reply #89

90. Yes!

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Mikimouse

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Tue May-18-04 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #90

91. Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!...

:nuke: :evilgrin:

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