Fun with a personal ad

A friend and I had some fun toinght doing an "MST3K" on a personal ad in the paper here.

Here's the ad, with our comments in parentheses:

R-U THE ONE?

(Is my name Neo?)

Single white male, 37,

(Just moved into my parent's basement after my ex-wife threw me out of the house)

blonde hair, blue eyes,

(Dye job and tinted contacts so I blend in with my neo-Nazi brethern)

5' 9" 185 lbs,

(Have a beer gut the size of a keg)

works at a 5-diamond resort,

(As one of the janitor staff)

Looking for a female,

(ANY female that won't kick me out)

30-40 yrs who is physically fit,

(And little brains)

and enjoys outdoors, pool, darts and music,

(I need to learn about them)

Sincere responses.

(I need to get laid)

:D