Got this Email today...it's funny.."Only In America"

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes and candy bars at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. While contemplating surgery for being to fat.

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Plus hire a rent a cop with a gun that would make Barney Fife look like Dirty Harry.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Don't forget screws in three's and nails by the dozen.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is! "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the ter! minal?


We all need to smile every once in a while.

Because some of them have yet to get it right....

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

"Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together"

True story: A friend asked me if I would translate a proposition he prepared for a hotel complex. Well in it he kept mentioning an "Apart-hotel" which I promptly translated as "Separate hotel" throughout. I still blush and chuckle simultaneously whenever I think of it.